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Why would you be the asshole for treating your brother like an adult?
Exactly, you don’t owe him anything, he should cater for himself that’s what adulting is about
He wouldn't. He is one for making up a story where OP's brother's ex co-worker called OP to tell OP that information conveyed in a conversation between OP, OP's brother and OP's parents was not true.
yeah this post read like ragebait
Yep. Sure sounds like it.
NTA : The reason your brother is they way he is, is because your parents enabled it. You don't owe your brother anything. Let him move back in with mom and dad.
Then I got a call from one of his former coworkers who casually mentioned Tom hadn’t been laid off, he’d quit after getting banned for poor performance and attitude problems.
"Casually"? Did he quit or was he banned/fired?
Pretty sure that confirms this is more AI garbage.
Mommy and Daddy can take care of the little prince now. Let them show you what being supportive looks like
What does "getting banned" from a job mean?
It’s when you cause such a scene while being fired you get trespassed from the place.
the AI doesn't know that that makes no sense in this context.
Indeed! 😊
Sounds like he was fired.
Your brother's former coworker called you to tell you that he lied about why he lost his job in a private conversation with you and your parents? Is the coworker psychic? YTA for making this up.
Absolutely!
Family stepping together doesn’t mean overstepping boundaries and taking advantage of others…. NTA
NTA - since family sticks together, I imagine you are sticking him with the parents?
Life is hard - for all of us. But HE is making YOUR life harder due to his irresponsible ways. Family does NOT enable irresponsibility, laziness etc. your parents - who are most to blame - need to take him. Stay firm. For your own sake he must go. In hindsight everyone will understand and say “she did the right thing.”
Since your parents believe that you’re too harsh, he can go stay with them
Why the end of the week? He has nothing to do and no responsibilities and it's not a formal lease. I would say all is forgiven I need you out by the end of the day. Then take a personal day tomorrow and deep clean everything, maybe order yourself a pizza, and just have a glorious reset and return to normalcy. In the future when these problems come up again and again and again you can just say well I would but you remember it didn't work out last time sorry I can't help you with what you really need.
NTA he can move in with mommy and daddy
NTA.
You're not kicking him out because he lied about losing his job. You're kicking him out because he's an irresponsible slob that is taking advantage of your generosity.
Call it what it really is. It's okay!
I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt about why he got fired. I get it to some extent. He was embarrassed and ashamed. He didn't want to look like a failure. I at least underdtand it. It's a poor reason to lie to your family about it, but I can at least empathize with it.
If he was being respectful of your space, being considerate of your stuff and food, and was actively looking for a job and was simply struggling to find one...even if he confessed to lying about why he got fired, I imagine that you would be a little more forgiving and willing to give him a little more time.
But the fact that he was slob that ate your food, leeched off of your Netflix, and trashed your space showed that he is just an irresponsible slob. THAT'S why you are kicking him out, and rightfully so.
If your parents and friends have a problem with it....THEY can take him in.
NTA - Send him back to your parents. Write up a list of what he owes you. Give him 30 days to pay, if he doesn't, take him to small claims court.
Change all of your passwords.
Your parents can put him up in their house, if they are so worried.
He lied, while you were trying to help him. That's not family.
NTA
You've been very generous. But free ride is over, kick him to your parents' curb. NTAH
nta tell your parents that he is for lying and making a mess of your home
NTA. Oh good, I guess Tom has housing options from your parents and all of the friends who are telling you what YOU should do!
It’s not hard times. It’s lazy times.
NTA. If this is real, tell your parents they can take him, and he still owes you the money.
This seems very AI rage bait, thought.
NTA
Time for the babyman to deal with his own problems.
If your parents think you are wrong, how much are they willing to pay you for his food and bills? Why can't he live with them?
NTA. You're allowed to set boundaries, especially with people who lie and take advantage of situations. It's not like he will be homeless. You mentioned your parents think it's important to support Tom during this difficult time, so they should be willing and able to take him in and support him then. This is not your problem, and you can't jeopardize your finances at this young age by endlessly supporting him. He is a grown man who has to learn from the choices that he makes.
That being said, I can understand that he was ashamed and is likely struggling. I know someone who struggled significantly at this age, in similar ways, due to some serious but undiagnosed and untreated mental health issues. They were truly in crisis, but nobody seemed to realized it and just treated them like they were lazy or losers. They kind of had to hit rock bottom before anyone figured out that there was a serious problem, and the person needed some help. If you have any concerns about this possibility, then you should try to direct him towards some mental health help and resources. It's amazing what the right medications and therapies can do to get someone out of crisis and back on the right track in life.
NTA.
Your parents can go back to supporting him; obviously that model needs more work from the factory.
NTA. He's 28 years old & should be able to take care of himself. If your parents want to stick by a liar & someone that will just blow off work, then he can move in with them & eat their food.
NTA.
Your parents can help him out then. They’re family and they brought him into this world. NTA you’re doing the right thing by choosing not to enable his laziness and nasty behavior.
Signs you might be reading AI slop....
Naturally, I offered to let him stay in my spare bedroom rent free for a few weeks while he job hunted.....Fast forward eight weeks: rent was due, he hadn’t paid a cent
Tom hadn’t been laid off, he’d quit after getting banned for poor performance and attitude problems.
you should eat him as payment for his bills. long pig is the best pig.
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