AskReddit

What’s a obvious sign that someone is not a good person?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1lv8ye1/whats_a_obvious_sign_that_someone_is_not_a_good/
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KarateKidd624

When you are just 1-on-1 with this person, they will act like they are your best friend or something, but AS SOON as you get into a group setting, they will be real quick to crap on you for God knows why, like they are trying to climb some social ladder or smth

23 hours ago
69bluemoon69

And also the opposite to this. Really weirdly nice to you around others and treats you like you're nothing when it's just the two of you.

21 hours ago
PleaseDontMakeMeSob

Had to cut off my best friend of 12 years for this.

She was always like this and alternated between treating me like shit in front of others, then turning sweet when it was just us, then treating me like shit when we were alone only to act sweet in front of people.

She'd call me names, belittle me, did that thing where she made the things I said or asked sound like the dumbest thing anyone could spit out in front of others, took me out to eat only to throw it in my face later when she demanded we do something I was uncomfortable with. Any "help" she has gotten me came with conditions I didn't know about until she applied them. Knew I was in recovery, said she'd cut me off if I relapsed, then proceeded to brag about the drugs she did, asked me to score her a bag a couple of times and even snorted in front of me with her group and sent me home after demanding I go out with her.

Snapped at me anytime I tried to set boundaries. Guilt tripped me and disregarded my discomfort with physical touch by spooning me or wanting to play with my hair. Gave me unsoliscited advice and blew up at me for not taking it. One-upped me when I was struggling. Said things like:"No offense, but your problems are on you for not solving them." She herself had the option to leave her abusive home, but didn't because she'd feel guilty and I never judged her for it, but she couldn't reciprocate that understanding.

Only in the last 2 years since I started doing therapy did I stop excusing her behaviour because I knew she had an abusive family. She was treated like that at home and I thought I helped her by letting her use me as an emotional punching bag. I've gone through many hardships as well and I never considered treating anyone like this, let alone a friend.

Last year, she snapped at me over something I had no control over, called me an idiot and I just never responded or answered her phone call again.

I think about her a lot and feel guilty for abandoning her abruptly, but I know I don't owe anyone permission to treat me this way.

19 hours ago
Cleb323

Good on you. No offense but she sounds like a cunt

12 hours ago
HmmDoesItMakeSense

Eww that’s downright creepy

21 hours ago
No_Opportunity_7480

I've experienced an alternative where if it's the two of you they'll act like you're their best friend and show you lots of special attention but in a group setting (usually with their closer friends) they'll straight up ignore you and act like you aren't even there. A real friend shouldn't make you wonder if they really hate you or not.

20 hours ago
leiawars

When they never take responsibility for anything they ever do

23 hours ago
ProjectBOHICA

. . . yet gladly take credit for the good work of others.

23 hours ago
Wonderful-Corner-sto

I feel seen

23 hours ago
Corynthian

Let's make them president.

14 hours ago
Benedicts_Twin

“Well David, I will be honest with you. I do want the credit without any of the blame.”

Michael Scott

23 hours ago
onefst250r

I understand it is just a product of good writing and acting, but Micheal was a world class POS.

12 hours ago
sweetalkersweetalker

"He said I was world-class. I think that meeting went well."

11 hours ago
RampSkater

You might like this blog where some lawyers note the likely lawsuits that would result from the actions in a given episode of The Office.

11 hours ago
protossObserverWhere

*Never take responsibility for their fuckups, but will gladly take all the credit for things that go right.

They suppress the fuckups by any means necessary.

23 hours ago
leiawars

Oh usually they make the fuckups someone else’s fault and gaslight them into believing or guilt them for having a problem with it to begin with.

23 hours ago
angiestefanie

Reminds me of someone we all know and most of us wish we didn’t.

16 hours ago
idontknopez

Have a roommate just like this

22 hours ago
protossObserverWhere

Yup! Dealt with those kinds of narcissists before too.

23 hours ago
WhichFun5722

I have an older half sister that's exactly this. Probably due to her career as a hospice nurse so she's used to denying any responsibility for anything. But that bleeds over into her personal life, where even when it's obviously her fault she'll deny it and turn it around on you. Like her son broke your car by pulling on the mirror, so you drove the car too long and it was old so it wasn't his fault your car was old.

22 hours ago
leiawars

Doubt it’s the jobs fault, my dude. Your sister is just a narcissist.

22 hours ago
loyalty1st

Can’t upvote this enough

22 hours ago
MsHamadryad

Sorry I’m just interested in the backstory that produced “probably due to her career as a hospice nurse so she’s used to denying any responsibility for anything”?

18 hours ago
KevyBB

I think I took this differently than the other people commenting. Hospice is palliative care in which you know the end. Narcissist or not, If she takes personal responsibility for every person that passes, the guilt would bury her. I work in SUD treatment. Hearing a patient relapsed and/or passed away sucks, but it’s part of the job and you can only know you did the best you could for them. There needs to be some sort of buffer or you will crash

13 hours ago
fireinthesky7

Most hospice nurses I know are some of the most caring and empathetic people anywhere in the medical field. Your sister's just using the narcissist playbook on you.

12 hours ago
Pristine_Put5037

Even if they do admit it, they always have a preposterous excuse ready for it.

23 hours ago
Terrible_Quote4942

They don't treat their significant other with respect

21 hours ago
BaconReceptacle

A couple of colleagues and I were considering a business opportunity where we were going to partner with an investor. We had already been doing some business with his wife for years and she was the reason we were all at the table anyway. So as we got close to committing to the deal, the husband investor says that he doesnt see a fit for his wife in the new business and they had agreed she would bow out. We were shocked and asked for details and he basically was shitting on his wife for not being effective at business development which we were in total disagreement about.

We decided not to move forward just because of the way the guy treated his wife.

14 hours ago
Comprehensive-Job243

As someone going through something similar (with notable differences but still) as the wife, this hits hard

14 hours ago
Longjumping_Metal755

Hope you're doing well!

9 hours ago
Buffyoh

Good call! If he treated his wife that way, imagine what his business associates can expect.

13 hours ago
Impressive_Host_6365

They talk shit about all of their friends

23 hours ago
DogAlienInvisibleMan

"Huh, strange how this person talks shit behind everyone's back, I'm glad they don't do that to me."

23 hours ago
SuumCuique1011

I mentioned this to a friend recently when they wanted me to go with them to hang out with their group.

They constantly talk shit about other people. What makes you think they don't do the same about you when you're not around?

Friend got offended. "Those are my best friends! They wouldn't do that."

Ok.

22 hours ago
orangera2n

I never thought leopard would eat MY face

21 hours ago
Circumsanchez

Real friends talk shit to their friend’s faces.

22 hours ago
Primetime0146

True friends stab you in the front.

21 hours ago
AksysCore

Real bros stab you in front of your partner.

21 hours ago
renkurai

In the butt..?

20 hours ago
Da1Don95

Question. I don't talk shit about my friends to other friends BUT I can't help but vent about them to my partner. Does that count?

20 hours ago
_paranoid-android_

Yeah, people saying this are taking a really hard stance. There's a difference between gossip and mentioning things that bug you.

IMO, if you tell every acquaintance everything you hate about your best friend? Bad. If you tell your best friend annoying things about acquaintances? That's fine.

15 hours ago
Moonlightdancer7

I know someone like this. They are super nice and friendly with everyone that you wouldn't even suspect. The more they were around me, the more I realized how much they judge, critisize, mock and gossip about others behund their backs and not excluding the ones they call friends and even relatives. It's really bizarre how social and likeable they appear with others. Did a complete 180 on my views about them. It's the two-faced trait I can't stand in people. Unfortunately some have a poor radar when it comes to relationships and don't see people for what they are.

22 hours ago
TokoloshNr1

Up until recently I had an employer that fits this description.

18 hours ago
FaradayStewart

True friends talk shit to your face, and compliment you behind your back.

17 hours ago
Competitive-Cold6406

"Those who gossip with you gossip of you."

22 hours ago
Gallerian

I had a friend that did that. Every time someone would be out of earshot, the shit talking against that person would begin. Though, he seemed to get especially mean-spirited when my sister was subject of his ridicule. Of course, me being an idiot, I turned a blind eye to it almost every time. Needless to say, I learned the hard way that someone like that doesn't deserve my time or my friendship.

It all came to a head when, while rooming at my house, he accused my sister of stealing two bottles of alcohol that he claimed were his and his alone. Of course, his accusation didn't hold up because:

  1. The bottles were not just for him. The person who gave it to us said as much.
  2. My sister doesn't even drink. She's as straight-edge as you can get.

And when faced with those facts? He doubled down. Still called my sister a thief, and got others to harass her by falsely claiming she stole said bottles. I sided with my sister for obvious reasons. That was the end of a decade-long friendship.

Sad part is, he used to not be that way either. We used to be ride or die friends. But one of our mutual friends started becoming a shit person, and attempted to do something very heinous. I was appalled by this mutual's actions, and cut contact. While my (now former) friend, tried to justify it, and started taking after his bad behaviors. That was also how I found out he had been talking shit about me constantly behind my back. Apparently, no one actually liked me and only socialized with me out of pity.

Needless to say, I have a new, much better group of friends. Y'know, people who are actually good people. And he's become almost a social outcast for the most part. He tried only one time to reconnect, but I shut it down immediately. I'm not looking to reopen that line of communication. Not now, or ever. I hope his diet consists of nothing but whatever the British pass off as cuisine.

22 hours ago
Expert-Economy-3938

They weaponize kindness. Like they’ll do something ‘nice’ for you just so they can hold it over your head forever.

22 hours ago
archelz15

Faux kindness is such an under-recognised answer to this question. Narcissists in particular are great at wielding this weapon. And it hooks people: Oh, but she is so kind, she baked you a cake!

Sure, what about those hundreds of times she was using me though?

20 hours ago
WorldlinessMedium702

Fr like I’ll pay you back and then it’s done. You ain’t just do something small then acting like you risked your life for mine the rest of eternity

18 hours ago
Intelligent_Plum_966

Growing up with a parent who does this, I have a hard time accepting gifts from people because I never know if there is an ulterior motive.

12 hours ago
sentence-interruptio

they claim you never thank them. but you did thank them literally seconds ago.

they claim you never help. but you did. again, literally seconds ago.

15 hours ago
WaterigeLimonade

Omg tell me about it, had a “friend” in college. He was part of a group of friends of 7 people. He wasn’t really close to me, but did help me once with moving in my student times. I repayed him with food, beers and ofcourse making it a fun, not hard day. 5 years later, after only 1 moment of connection in years (the whole group kinda grew apart), he pushed me to call, it wasn’t an emergency but he needed me to call. Even when I told him, i couldn’t call, and asked to please just text me what was going on. He literally said: “since I helped you once with moving, you have to help me now, otherwise your not a good friend. You have to help me now since I got kicked out by my parents.” (Backstory: he also got fired from almost every job I knew he had for being to lazy/ careless/ rude or just in general useless.)

Mind you, the previous contact was while I was stuck at home due to a scoliosis that became so bad I could barely walk and when he came by he used our house (realized afterwards, as he fiest introduced the idea to “catch up”) as storage for a whole week, because he also didn’t have a place in the city we worked and studied at. Left his stinky wetsuit over every piece in the bathroom, his whole backpack and trash bag just trown in the hall. he completely overstayed his welcome when my partner and I repeatedly told him we were tired and wanted to call it a day, but he HAD TO WAIT for his other friends in the centre that he was going to party with, so he could meet up with them later, completely disregarding our boundaries and hospitality (still feel like he just used us for convenience, cause there was a serious lack of interest the whole night). He said he would pick his shit up the next day, but crossed several boundaries again in the communication and false promises that he kept making. Finally picked it up after a week, dumped it in front of him and was kinda done with him from there already. Back to the call, months later: He knew I was physically in a terrible shape and just tried to push me to help anyway. My other friends from the group also said: he knows your always trying to help everyone, thats why he called you first.

First time standing up for myself like this, but I told him he could kiss my ass, he knew I was physically the last person to call for moving and that I repayed him at the time. Friendship doesn’t work like this, because you did a thing, doesn’t mean you can pressure people in doing things for you. Thats not friendship. I told him I do feel sorry for him, but that I’m not responsible for his issues and he just needs to find someone else, that isn’t struggling physically, to help him. He got super angry and manipulative, but I just told him off, because I don’t appreciate “friends” to talk to me this way.

No problem with the end of this “friendship”, def learned from it.

19 hours ago
HungerForNormality

This was my stepmum all over. She’d buy me expensive clothes I didn’t ask for, or need, and then threaten to take them back if I didn’t comply with what she wanted.

15 hours ago
larchyy

How they treat people seen as beneath them

23 hours ago
volcanologistirl

If they view any people as beneath them.

14 hours ago
RaspberryTwilight

Probably just wrong phrasing and meant people with less power than them

12 hours ago
PersonalPerson_

Hmmm... one time I was walking through the park minding my own business. This guy standing with his friends yelled at me "Do you f*cking think you're better than me, bitch?"

I didn't before, but now do and forever will, think I'm better than that guy.

12 hours ago
Ashmedai

Came here for this. How they treat people when they can get away with it, like being super rude to waitstaff is a giant red alert alarm bell. Hang around someone like this long enough, and it will turn around to you. There's a lot of different behaviors like this. When someone has a habit of acting out in various ways, always ask, "could I ever be in this picture?". If the answer is "yes," cut that person out of your life. Earnest word of warning.

12 hours ago
punchspear

Gossiping and mocking others behind their backs.

Doubling down instead of admitting to being wrong.

23 hours ago
Drogovich

We saw lately a prime example of a person who always doubles down even when it's proven that they were obviously wrong.

Some people's ego is too high to admit any wrong

22 hours ago
TesticularPsychosis

Then they act legitimately confused about why no one wants to be around them except for broken doormats or other assholes 

22 hours ago
Frantoll

Jerks to restaurant staff

23 hours ago
_AntiSaint_

Jerk as an adjective or a verb?

I guess either way… not great lol

22 hours ago
cool-haydayer

I mean people who jerk at restaurant staff are definitely sex offenders and are automatically bad people

20 hours ago
Glittering-Bike-8466

Depends if it's in private and consensual or not

16 hours ago
OrchidDisastrous5556

Keep an eye out for opportunistic behavior. Notice if they use people and discard them. How do they treat their animals? Do they have long term relationships? Are they always a victim? These are signs of shit people. 

1 day ago
Worth-Perspective868

Always being a victim is a big one

23 hours ago
SnickersDickVein

Always the victim or the hero

22 hours ago
Chemical_Success1153

So true, SnickersDickVein

22 hours ago
Puzzled-Newspaper-88

Ngl the vast majority of people in my life I’ve met do this

They’ll be friends for when they want something for 99% of people they meet and then never talk again until they want something and their “friends” are only doing the same thing but they keep super strict score and I just watch from the side

Sometimes I wish I was the same but I feel bad if I never intend to be their friend

18 hours ago
stellamccoy

Lots of people who are not narcissistic struggle with long term relationships, especially those who were raised by a narcissist 

17 hours ago
finfan44

Or people who move a lot, or people who are just different. My wife and I don't have a lot of long term relationships (other than each other) because we are very different kind of people so we don't have much in common with other people which makes it near impossible to make friends.

13 hours ago
MinhEMaus

Yes, thank you for acknowledging this. Also, sometimes people truly are victims… it’s almost as when one is raised in dysfunction they have trouble establishing boundaries and this makes them an easy target.

12 hours ago
AngieL0531

I don’t agree with the long term relationship part. Sometimes ppl need a little trial & error before they get a good understanding

16 hours ago
kingofnopants1

The long-term relationships one is better seen as more of a green vs yellow flag thing than really being a red flag.

Having a lot of separate long-term relationships is almost always a green flag, especially if those people seem to be good people.

There are plently of healthy and valid reasons to NOT have a lot of long-term friends depending on one's life situation and experience. If one grew up around toxic people then it is good they are rid of them.

But, unfortunately, for people with significant issues oftentimes the fact that they have no friendships older than a couple years is going to be the only early sign you get that something is wrong under the hood.

People who have a habit of blowing up their personal relationships very rarely see it as them being the cause. It is related to the "drama follows me everywhere" concept.

12 hours ago
Cantre-r_Gwaelod_1

Yeah I knew someone who’d act like their other friends were awful people and celebrate when they got humiliated or failed. She was getting off on making friends to try and destroy them. Glad I got away from her when I did. Her family treated her like she could do no wrong so when she did these things they’d reward her for it. She seemed to be in a habit of making friends and setting out to hurt them before dumping them and onto the next. I think she got a rush from pulling the wool over others eyes. One person she made friends with then kept telling her to meet her places to no show was convinced she’s lovely. Unfortunately she was a vulnerable adult and even after explaining to her she’s doing it on purpose she still believed they were her friend. Another she used and dumped and said horrible things about behind her back had absolutely no idea and thought she was a sweetheart. A lot of the people she did this to didn’t know until later she’d been accusing them of bullying or making fun of their appearances or setting them up because she would act like she loves you when around you.

20 hours ago
MohammadAbir

When they’re kind to you but rude to people they don’t need.That’s all you need to know.

22 hours ago
Enchantedbibliophile

I know someone who brags about how they’re like this and wears it like a badge of honor. They’ve legit said “a person could be choking to death in front of me and I’d only help if I really liked the person. Otherwise, I’d just let them choke and die” (on top of them also only doing nice things for people just to hold the nice thing over the other person’s head if the other person can’t reciprocate for whatever reason)

12 hours ago
Baeolophus_bicolor

They harm animals

1 day ago
WorriedEquivalent832

Not a good person, this is a psychopath, pure evil.

20 hours ago
Maleficent_Can_4773

You even think about wanting to harm a doggo and you are dead to me.

22 hours ago
inky_fox

Idk. One time my dog jumped onto the counter and ate two dozen gingerbread cookies i had cooling on a back shelf. I had to take a deep breath and put her outside for that one because damn

19 hours ago
ImmodestPolitician

If you catch a dog in the act of doing something bad or dangerous, negative reinforcement works.

If it happened 60 seconds prior they probably won't understand the correlation.

Positive reinforcement is much more effective because there are usually only a few actions you want while there are 1000s of behaviors you don't want. Your dog wants to make you happy because your her mom/dad and ou share your food and love.

10 hours ago
HotBaseballWolf

They go around stabbing other people

1 day ago
TuberNation

Was about to say this. Dead giveaway

23 hours ago
4obvsreasons_111

This comment killed me

22 hours ago
ddbllwyn

It was a sharp remark

22 hours ago
PaulasBoutique88

Definitely had a point

22 hours ago
unclethulk

Ok but have you seen how good I look in my lucky stabbing hat?

23 hours ago
KumquatHaderach

Hey, easy with that! That’s my lucky stabbin’ hat!

22 hours ago
Acrobatic-Pudding-87

What if they remain stationary while stabbing other people?

23 hours ago
Cadnofor

Yeah, I'm just standing here stabbing my knife like this so if you get stabbed it's YOUR FAULT

16 hours ago
Alternative-Sea328

Do they ever do anything for you back?

1 day ago
grilldchisme

And then when you stop doing all the nice things because youre drained dry, they make it a problem and still wont check up on you.

13 hours ago
MJoubes

This is a really big one. Most people won't go out of their way for you.

15 hours ago
Appropriate-Low5682

If they only talk about themselves 

1 day ago
awholedamngarden

And when they rarely speak of others it’s to talk shit about them

23 hours ago
GandalfTheSexay

I think the two comments above cover the subject completely. Close the thread lol

23 hours ago
resinsuckle

Especially if they shut down when you talk about yourself.

23 hours ago
dankusama

My brother is like this. You could have a whole conversation with him and he will talk only about him and if you try to say something about you, it's like he didn't hear you, he just keeps talking.

Yesterday, her wife( who gave birth to their baby only few months ago) called me, distressed , that he has been cheating on her for months, possibly years. Hmmm

19 hours ago
raininherpaderps

I would be careful about this one. It could also just be an indication of depression or not understanding how to make small talk properly.

23 hours ago
Eggfish

Or having autism spectrum disorder which often means poor social skills and restrictive interests

22 hours ago
Ocel0tte

Or adhd. We try to show others we understand by sharing a similar story.

20 hours ago
BananaSplit2

As someone who has ADHD, I've had that issue of being accused of trying to make everything about myself when it's my way to try and relate to something someone else said.

13 hours ago
grim_reapers_union

I’m glad someone mentioned this —- I don’t think “talking about yourself” in this context, of making small talk or having conversational / social awkwardness is quite the same as the pathological patterns of behavior of someone who is self-obsessed and talks about themselves.

18 hours ago
stewartd434

They can't ever admit that they are wrong, not even for a second. Everything becomes a debate where they just have to have the last word.

23 hours ago
txmsh3r

Ah, I see you’ve met my ex…

Your post gave me literal flashbacks! But this is true. People who lack accountability…. Stay farrrrrrr, far away from them. The mental gymnastics they will have you go through is just not worth it.

16 hours ago
smokescreen34

They keep asking people for things with no intention of giving back. Everyone needs help sometimes, but it's the takers that need a good kick in the face.

23 hours ago
Ewggggg

They want to control the actions of others as they believe they know better 

23 hours ago
Cruxisinhibitor

This is a big one. People who generally project, control, refuse to recognize autonomy, and refuse accountability truly are bad people.

Edit: eh, "bad" is a strong word. I believe in Hanlons razor. Some people are truly ignorant, but the ignorant who are also arrogant are what I consider "unsavory" people.

21 hours ago
PleaseDontMakeMeSob

For the person who got ran over, it makes no difference if the driver hit them by accident or on purpouse. Their recovery will be hard regardless.

19 hours ago
zaccus

They'll often straight up tell you.

23 hours ago
PleaseDontMakeMeSob

"I don't deserve you." And I will never try to.

"I don't want to hurt you." But I will, if I benefit from it.

"I don't know why people hate me." I will find excuses for my bad actions and wonder why others won't tolerate it.

"Everyone in my life turned their backs on me." After they had enough of the crap I put them through.

19 hours ago
pesusjeraza

i ignored this for the longest time but early in our friendship this girl was venting to me about about how people kept calling her mean or commenting that she was rude

my dumbass took YEARS to reach the same conclusion after trying to be empathetic to her situations/life experiences. insane to me that someone could receive such specific criticism and simply feign innocence and refuse to grow as a person

23 hours ago
ScreamingIntrovert

Same mistake. I empathized with a coworker who said everyone in her department didn't like her. She was going to get let go and I convinced my boss to take her in. Everyone in my department now also dislike her. When it smells like shit wherever you go, maybe check your shoes first. Sometimes, maybe the problem is you lol.

Ps. Now the people from the other department is teasing me lol. They were like "we almost got rid of her" lol.

22 hours ago
Violet_rush

My ex said he was “really good at manipulating people” if he “wanted to” before I ever dated him 🥀 not sure why I thought I would be the exception

20 hours ago
rkellyscheekbone

They get upset when told no

21 hours ago
Distinct-Common-7471

When they don’t even attempt to empathize with others’ hardships, but expect the whole world to stop when something happens to them.

20 hours ago
CraftTurbulent3981

They constantly show zero empathy like when they make fun of other people’s pain, ignore boundaries, or don’t feel bad about hurting others.

23 hours ago
magnumdong500

But watch them suddenly become a preacher for empathy when someone does it to them in any form.

20 hours ago
Pretty_Mix_8805

Observe how they treat pets

23 hours ago
Unpopularopinionguyz

If they get political after failing art school

23 hours ago
-Fyrebrand

Not sure if Ben Shapiro or Hitler...

22 hours ago
Kylar_Stern

Yes

13 hours ago
Recent_Sun_1151

When they still associate and talk to your abuser.

23 hours ago
chila_chila

Enablers are the worst. No spine.

21 hours ago
commanderlex27

At this point they're not even enablers, but straight up accomplices.

19 hours ago
wanderingtoolong2

My ex was abusive, all our friends knew it but no one talked about it, and everyone was nice to him. Made me feel awful.

14 hours ago
lyrissira

This. I remember my “friends” present when my ex gf physically assaulted me. They all spoke up and said to me that what she’d done was wrong but they directly said that they couldn’t tell her that because of how she would react. I broke up with her immediately following the incident (it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened and I realised that she was not even close to the person she had pretended to be when I fell in love with her). When she could no longer control me, she turned to manipulating the “friends” we shared and spread the worst lies and rumours about me. Our mutuals said that what she was doing was wrong… to me. Not a single one of the nearly 20 person friend group stood up to her and held her accountable for stuff they saw or heard. I blocked her and cut off every one of them a few months later when I realised that it wasn’t how friends acted and that their enablement allowed an abuser to thrive in a community where they knew there would be no consequences.

14 hours ago
PikebertAlb

Always blaming someone else for everything.

22 hours ago
The_Spyre

Gaslighting.

23 hours ago
Icosotc

That’s not a sign that someone is a bad person, you’re just fucking crazy.

22 hours ago
sentientfruitloop

They steal from others, disrespect homeless people, and emotionally, mentally, and/or physically abuse children and/or animals

22 hours ago
painting_psych99

They make everything about themselves, unnecessary dump all their emotional crap on others, and have a victim mindset

23 hours ago
Terrible-Ad-6774

manipulative and/or emotional blackmail.

23 hours ago
ghostpout

They hate on people they don't know

22 hours ago
Active_Buttah

They talk negatively about someone as soon as the person leaves.

22 hours ago
iamChiman8

How they treat children, animals, disabled, and the elderly. Tell you everything you need to know

21 hours ago
markmakesfun

If you notice their relationships trend like this: Being involved with someone 24/7 constantly, then suddenly they are involved with someone else 24/7 constantly, the previous person is “bad.” Lather rinse repeat, over and over.

21 hours ago
Direct-Original-2895

They don’t put their shopping cart back

23 hours ago
BazookaBill123

Shopping cart theory is my favorite social theory that I 100% believe in

22 hours ago
Butterflyhomicide

The way they treat wait staff tells me everything I need to know about them.

23 hours ago
Local-Bus2984

This is a hard one because liars and charmers will impress a crowd by how good they are to the waitress. Dated a charmer who would tip the waitress/bartender $20 but always needed me to cover his half of the bills.

21 hours ago
ultrahateful

Was just about to mention this. Threads like these make me wonder if there are people out there taking notes to better get by. I have few doubts about it, especially highly parroted examples such as this one.

It’s almost like a warning for “performers” to study up on and avoid doing.

21 hours ago
Calm_Cosmo_77

When they keep crossing your boundaries and your gut says something’s off — trust it. Good people don’t make you question your own peace

23 hours ago
flingebunt

Well it depends on the person.

  • Most bad people will brag about their bad deeds and make them out to virtues (from hitting kids to sexually harassing people at work, not to mention, bullying, lying and so on)
  • An instant one is when they randomly start telling you about how someone else is bad. It is not wrong to complain about others, but when it is an out of context complaint, well you know what they want
  • One that is a good tell is when the first words out of their mouth when you meet them is negative, even if it is not about you
  • But one to look out for are people who are overly positive, but without any substance. It is obvious that they have an agenda
1 day ago
WaveExpensive7857

Can you explain the last one a little more?

22 hours ago
fredickhayek

I'm curious myself,

my best guess is a salesman personality who is just extremly friendly and positive to the point of not ever being real with you and that is because they what something from you.

22 hours ago
ultrahateful

Often times, it can be someone who has become or been made aware of their bad behavior, so to silence or quell this reputation they will overcompensate with virtuous acts and tell virtuous stories of their virtuous behavior.

It’s meant to white wash.

20 hours ago
Naive_Bug_1290

Always the victim, somehow nothing is ever their fault. They also gaslight you into thinking theyre the victim.

21 hours ago
pbrart2

Infidelity

22 hours ago
Chemical_Success1153

I've been looking for this answer so I could enthusiastically agree.

21 hours ago
OftenAmiable

Their "body count" doesn't refer to sex partners....

23 hours ago
Drogovich

i need to again find the video of some grandpa who legit told the amount of lives he took when answering that question, before realising when he was actually asked

22 hours ago
[deleted]

[deleted]

23 hours ago
ladidahmilksop

They tell you they're not a good person.

23 hours ago
Expanse_2022

Or they say- I don’t understand why no one likes me - I’m such a nice guy! In my experience the ones who claim to be nice are the worst.

23 hours ago
smalltownchilis

Always talk about how they’re “living their truth” and “healing” and talking about haters

23 hours ago
billa-writes

No one has used the word 'healing' as much as my ex-bestie.

She uses fake spiritual principles, karmic lessons, law of attraction, and healing to justify her crappy behaviour against me.

The way she talked, it almost felt like everyone on this planet is an a*****e and she was either right or the victim.

15 hours ago
ContactThin3211

They kick people with special needs

1 day ago
[deleted]

[removed]

1 day ago
JustAloner98

They treat servers / waitstaff / hospitality personnel badly.

22 hours ago
hopeless_life30

Animal cruelty

23 hours ago
Restart_from_Zero

Punching down.

Shitting on the poor, homeless, people working lower paying jobs, the mentally ill, people with developmental problems, people of other races, genders, etc.

20 hours ago
yeti-vedder-7

When things go wrong in their life, it is always someone else’s fault.

20 hours ago
BloodMon3t

They're mean to animals.

22 hours ago
ayshthepysh

They make jabs at you and disguise it as a joke.

16 hours ago
Mlinca

People who litter

23 hours ago
BuhDeepThatsAllFolx

They refuse to release Epstein’s list

22 hours ago
No-Collection-2485

They mistreat animals.

21 hours ago
Diligent-Molasses186

They call themselves an empath

Or they don't believe that gaslighting exists

23 hours ago
Bookwoman0247

Caring more about power and money than they do about human lives.

23 hours ago
Fit-Comfortable-5175

Lies

1 day ago
Violet_rush

Not all lies are badly intended though. Sometimes people who have good intentions and mean no harm might learn to lie to protect themselves or fear of being judged. I have lied before because I was scared of being judged or for not being accepted for who I am. I always had good intentions and never wanted to hurt anyone.

However, thanks to my partner, I told him the truth and he still accepted me and loved me for who I am. So finally I felt comfortable to be fully open. I never wanted to lie- it was out of a defensive state of protection because I learned from my trauma that’s how to protect myself. I thought people wouldn’t understand my truth and not accept me. I’m glad that I finally met someone who I can be honest and open with

20 hours ago
attunedmuse

The people of the lie

23 hours ago
Sarcasm-champion

Narcissistic personality

23 hours ago
Venussian_engineer

People always see others as a reflection of themselves.

So if the person is trying to trap you in one's words jokingly or as a threat, without you even playing any part, then you know..

23 hours ago
mexicat2000

I’ve found people that lack patience and don’t seem to listen to others are the worst. They’ve failed to see themselves as part of the universe but instead act as if they’re the center of it.

22 hours ago
Budget_Prize6132

They bend people to their will with absolutely stellar manipulative skills. 

21 hours ago
EdgeMiserable4381

Their adult children avoid them

21 hours ago
bIackcatttt

Treat animals or view animals as property,

23 hours ago
uoyhtiwebecrofehtyam

They don’t put the grocery cart back in the parking lot.

23 hours ago
Vampyk1ss3s

All their exes were “crazy”

22 hours ago
Comfortable_Basil_37

Treating fast food, restaurant and other service workers like shit. Stay so far the fuck away from me.

23 hours ago
guttertrashfish

They tailgate other drivers

22 hours ago
wahla1

How they treat people that perceive to be beneath them like retail staff waiters etc

21 hours ago
FoxfireBlu

They lack empathy; if they can sit in the presence of pain and/or suffering (big or small, mental or physical) and not be affected, or worse they are annoyed (contextually incongruent of course) then understand that this is not just a bad person but a destructive one, to themselves and others.

22 hours ago
Unscripted9211

They intentionally hurt any Kind of animal

22 hours ago
Luciditi89

If someone says “I love gossip” to you the first day you meet them and wants you to give your first impressions on everyone in your class/group/office etc. don’t trust them. They will turn on you and gossip about you behind your back.

17 hours ago
ghostthecollector

34 felonies and is a narcissistic sociopath con man with zero integrity.

22 hours ago
Pleasant-Chef6055

They knew Epstein and are so unaware they say things like “she’s hot” concerning their own children.

23 hours ago
legochocolate

Greedy

23 hours ago
midwestbit

They cheat in their relationships

22 hours ago
ResponsibleCareer496

A lot of people here are misconstruing rude/obnoxious/ poor mannered people for bad/malicious people.

Talking shit about people doesn’t make you “bad” it makes you rude and distasteful, but let’s face it, almost every single one of us has gossiped or talked shit about someone.

Also, a good person will be the first to tell you that they are in fact not a good person. A good person is self aware of their own shortcomings and tries to change. But, I think there’s a gold standard for what makes someone “good” (which is highly subjective in and of itself) and I think that’s how they treat animals and children or people who are defenseless or uncared for.

Goodness comes with unrequited kindness and intrinsic compassion for people or beings less fortunate than themselves

17 hours ago
Allegra1120

Red hat, gold sneakers, fake Chinese watch.

1 day ago
EnigmaNero

How they treat animals.

23 hours ago
SecondRateHack

Failure to use turn signals when driving

16 hours ago
Spare_News3665

They don't use turn signals.

16 hours ago