Linear algebra
For me, linear algebra is more of an end of the day activity. Partial differential equations get me going in the morning.
Buddy, let me tell you, some Lie algebra first thing in the morning will REALLY wake you up.
I’m partial to ordinary differential equations.
Omg me too!
I too like to Rise over the Run
Fractals followed by quantum theory here.
Sometimes I wake up with an eigenvector. Makes it hard to pee.
That has eigenvalue
Rest for 30 minutes
I may like algebra but never did this right after waking up.
But a salute to your dedication in algebra.
Alarmy?
Tell my bladder "5 more minutes" like it's my alarm
Ok so doctor told my husband after diagnosing bladder cancer that one factor is holding on in bladder for too long and not emptying when body sends signal.. for many years at work he will just hold on cos busy. He is OK now touch wood but he regrets this... just saying folks. Stay well.
On the other hand--my pelvic floor physical therapist told me that going as soon as you feel you need to, all the time, is bad, too!.
Once you need to empty your bladder, the urge to urinate kind of comes and goes in waves. If you give into it on the first wave, it kind of trains your bladder to become overactive--meaning that it becomes harder to hold it in over time.
Oh thanks for this tip. I noticed I pee the second I notice it because I’m usually working on my laptop and I use that as an excuse to take a walk away from the laptop for a moment throughout the day.
well, shit…. I’m gonna be in trouble
Good point. Don't hold your shit either
Don’t want shit cancer
If this was the case, teachers would be getting bladder cancer everywhere!
I check the time to see if it's time to wake up.
if I see it's too early, then i sleep some more time.
This. If it’s too early I suddenly will gain the power to ignore needing to pee
Same, I make sure I can get natural light from the sunrise and my biological clock is on point, I don’t need an alarm anymore but I still need a clock to see the time.
I always wake up before my alarm
Stare at the ceiling questioning my life choices
This.
This should be higher up. Golden.
Be upset that I'm awake
And alive
Omg so much. Nice to know I'm not alone. Unless this is /s
Not sarcasm sadly. Every day I wake up and say “omg I’m still here?! Fuck”
Same here… 1 minute I’m dreaming of my Son and then I wake up and the pain hits. F.y.i. Killed 4 years ago by crazy bitch he broke up with. For ever 27
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t even imagine the heartbreak. Sadly mine is grief related too.
mine too but my mom passed last year and she is in my dreams sometimes
❤️
Sorry to hear that of all. I too have those days, & more often recently, but I still try to give “thanks”, even thru gritted teeF.
Be blessed, y’all. Stay up.
I'm so sorry. Mine is due to childhood trauma. Turns out I'm not bipolar (as I was misdiagnosed for 20+ years); it's CPTSD. Not making this a pi$$ing contest. I'm truly sorry and can only empathize as I've never had/wanted kids (wonder why).
My whole life! (I'm 45 now). Whyyyy
I used to make so much fun of my grandparents because they said for like 30 years “I’m ready for the good lord to take me”. I didn’t understand why they didn’t wanna just live and enjoy life. I’m 49 and I totally get it now. No money for retirement or travel. Just work til you die, and watch all your friends and family die around you. Good lord I need therapy. Too bad I don’t have insurance
Me too. I gotta do this shit again? Son of a bitch.
Me too, ultraviolette.
Dude, same. But I have a sleep disorder, so that's pretty much all the time.
Continue to.lay in bed and doomscroll reddit (currently doing so)
Check my phone
... what time it is
it's 4am
Carefully open my eyes and make sure that I am not in a wooden box, then sniff to make sure I do not smell the flames of hell
That’s dark. I guess it can only get better from there.
Aye! Key to a steadily improving day
I’ll follow you for more life hacks
It’s gonna really freak you out if your house is ever on fire.
As Mel Brooks said, I wake up and read the obituaries, if I don’t see my name- I get out of bed
"Well, fuck."
"Here we go again"
"Fuck well."
We’ll
I eat 45 raw eggs, 3 dozen loaves of raw bread, 17 glasses of raw water, then I do 2500 raw pushups. Then I pet my snuggly little fluffy kitty and give it smooches. Then I punch a raw oak tree with my bare fists until the tree explodes, I lift my car over my head and run to work with it. After that it's just a normal day.
Found chuck Norris
Cannot be him, if it was the eggs would have cooked themselves and the tree would explode out of fear.
Car would of took its self to work.
glad to see some Chuck Norris jokes in 2025
Definitely not Al Bundy. He has to push his car to work.
Gaston?
Now that he’s grown he eats 5 dozen eggs
You mean dehydrated water right ?
The kitty and car not raw as well?
Please let me know before you eat enough dough to make three loaves of bread. I would like to be there to see that.
Have you tried cooked pushups?
suffer.
It’s when the eyes don’t open that the suffering stops
Flick the bean
Who’s?
Nah. That’s Doctor Who, which is an evening affair. The morning is all about Mister Bean.
Was gonna make a Mr Bean joke but I am not witty enough.
CAME TO SAY THIS!
Maybe THIS is why the world is so fucked. 😂
More people need to rub one out before getting out of bed in the morning. BEST wake up routine, EVER! And if you're a gym rat and it's ab day, SIGNIFICANTLY more likes to achieve an abgasm 🤭🥰
I open my eyes and then close it back👌
See if this question has been posted yet again and in which subs.
Fart
Fart, get out of bed while piss.exe boots up, put on bathrobe, go to bathroom, piss, fart some more.
Watch last night’s news on YouTube
Are you american by chance
I am, for better or for worse
Worse
Locate my eyes (glasses) and pat my pup good morning
Make coffee
Put the kettle on for the first cuppa of the day. In UK, it's the law
It absolutely is.
Grunts in the disappointment of reality
Try to figure out who I am and where I am, then stagger to the bathroom.
Get stoned
Wake and bake 😍
Late to bed means late to rise
It's the wake and bake, baby, when I open my eyes
Since the beginning of this year, make my bed. Up for two minutes and I've already got something done!
Try to solve the Wordle of the day, check work email, and then pee and poop.
Take my levothyroxine.
Duh, I'm a medical student, and that's the most recent thing we got taught, Hypothyroidism
Me too
Same!!
I woke up around ten o'clock in the morning
I gave myself a stretch up, a morning yawning
Went to the bathroom to wash up
Had some soap on my face and my hand upon a cup
I said, "Um, mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the top choice of them all?"
There was a rumble jumble, five minutes it lasted
The mirror said, "You are, you conceited bastard!"
But that's true, that's why we never have no beef
So then I washed off the soap and brushed the gold teeth
Used Oil Of Olay 'cause my skin gets pale
And then I got the files for my fingernails
Due to the night and on my behalf
I put the bubbles in the tub so I could have a bubble bath
Clean, dry was my body and hair
I threw on my brand new Gucci underwear
For all the girls I might take home
I got the Johnson's Baby Powder and the Polo cologne
Fresh dressed like a million bucks
Threw on the Bally shoes
And the fly green socks
Stepped out my house stopped short, oh no
I went back in, I forgot my Kangol
GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP
drink water probably
Lay back down
You sleep standing up?
Hold up… you guys sleep sat down? Have i been missing something having slept floating all these years ?
Open my eyes.
pee. it would be take the dog outside, but if I take her out without peeing first myself, we'll, then I'll have to do laundry, and I'm not about that first thing in the AM.
Take a bong rip, 500ml water and kiss my dogs good morning
Regret it
If I'm being woken up by my toddler then its snuggling up with them for kisses and cuddles before the day starts. If I'm waking up without being woken then its checking the time in a slightly panicked way wondering why I'm awake before said toddler!
My cat has learned the exact amount of claw that's guaranteed to wake me up without getting himself swatted. He's worse than a toddler.
I remember those days!
Go back to sleep
Scream into the void.
Generally I look around to see if anyone in the office noticed I was asleep…
'What time is it'
I go into my living room and look at the sky. Try to ground myself bc my brain wants to leap into anxious thoughts of everything I have to do.
Check the time to see if it’s time to get up. 90% of the time it isn’t. 😂
Pee. My bladder wakes me up.
Take dogs out to pee. I just wish that they would get up at the same time every day. We're currently on a schedule where they need to go out anywhere from 3 o'clock in the morning to 5 o'clock in the morning. And you can't just ignore them because you don't want them to be uncomfortable.
Fight the growing urge to immediately hit snooze and go back to bed
Check my phone to see if you know who is still around. Then pee.
Petition my woman for sex. Gotta start the day right.
Check is my GF still beside me. She is so perfect for me that i have constant fear that i dreamt her and when i woke up she will not be there.
Aww it's so cute <3
I wish you well in ur relships :)
I also check for this guy’s GF.
Eye drops.
Check my emails
I make coffee on the way to the shower.
Make sure my penis is still there.
Prayer
Pray, on my knees, thank God for one more day!
Pray and Self talk
Play the Next vinyl up in my collection. Robin Trower this morning.
Thanking God
Pet my cat (he always runs over to me when he hears im getting up )
Thank God for another day
Brain 404 error not found.
Curse the morning DJs for saying "Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties because it's cold out there" for the 37,000th time.
Kiss my girlfriend's forehead and thank God for another day.
Cry because once again I wasn’t the sole winner of the lottery jackpot, and I have to go to work…AGAIN!
Die inside then put on my normal person mask and carry on
Cry because I’m awake.
Smile as I notice my dog and my wife still sleeping peacefully.
Thank god for the new day
Praise God I’m still alive. I just celebrated my 81st.
I call J.G. Wentworth
Two minutes of chanting God's name, and I feel ready to move mountains.
Thank God.
go back to sleep
Give thanks. And I don’t mean in a religious sense, but more in a way to hopefully reprogram my body for feelings of gratitude, rather than fear, doubt, dread, anger and uncertainty.
Talk to God.
Put my feet on the floor and thank god I made it to another day!!
Thank God for another day!
pray to god
I wake up in the morning, take a piss and wash my hands, take a knee and thank the Man, and get back to the money
Thank God for another day
Thank God. Then pray and listen to my muses.
Groan
Pray 🙏 then pee
Read on reddit and make a cup of tea
Hit Snooze
Hit the snooze button
Take the dogs out!
Curse the gods for my miserable existence
Take a swig of olive oil. Take my one-a-day vitamin, then coffee.
go back to sleep
Decide if the need to pee is worth the pain of getting up and walking.
Go back to sleep a few times.
Come back to reality - quick plan for the day, prayer, pee.
Panic
Want to go back to sleep
Pet the tuxedo cat who has just bodyslammed himself onto the bed, pronouncing breakfast time.
Check if my girlfriend texted me
Neurosurgery
Think to myself, ah fuck, here we go again
Folgers in my cup.
Morning gratitude prayer before my eyes are even fully open. "I thank You, living and enduring King, for You have graciously returned my soul within me. Great is Your faithfulness."
i always check my cat and give kisses. but now, he’s gone and honestly, it’s hard for me to get up:(
tell the cat to shut up
Pet my cat Cinnamon because she’s usually right next to me. Then I usually check the time
Wander through the house, then go out to greet my cat
Pee
Then get out of bed.
Life hack
Ya get a little extra rest.
Little extra warmth
The one trick that big urine doesn’t want you to know.
Sigma energy.
Going to the bathroom first thing in the morning to pee is precious time you could be using to hustle, network, level up and increase brand awareness while you could be peeing in bed instead.
Brilliant
Wait, but can I still make myself an avocado toast in bed?
Best way to live your life
Looking for coffee
“I never have to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I do it in the morning. Every day, like clockwork. 7am, I pee……unfortunately I don’t get up until 8.” - Sophia Petrillo, Golden Girls
I have a 6am alarm clock and a 4am bladder.
And if you ever set a 4am alarm, you suddenly have a 3am bladder 🤔
Catheter that empties into the toilet from bed is the way to go.
Save time and do it before you wake up.