I am not really sure how to react to this text as I’ve never been asked this by someone i know in person. I already told him i would feel uncomfortable doing it, but he said he promises it will be “fun” and i feel pressured. Would it be best to be polite or harshly direct?
No. That’s it. Don’t sugar coat it or he’ll keep trying. Just a No.
If he asks why don’t reply.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to."
"No."
"Why not?"
"You don't respect my boundaries, so I wouldn't feel safe being alone with you."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to."
"But why don't you want to?"
"Because of exactly what you're doing right now."
"But..."
"Fuck off."
Best response hands down. Enough for selfreflexion for him and to make it clear that you are irritated by him
Nope. Too much explaining. No is a full sentence.
Agreed. Don’t explain. He doesn’t actually care about your reasons. He just wants to wear you down.
He'll say shit then like "of course I respect your boundaries, that's why I'm asking. I love you so much, what do you mean not safe with me? I want to protect you and keep you safe from others"
Sounds funny but to a person who takes time to make a post about politely refusing, such replies by guys can be a challenge to get over. Plus sometimes if a person craves love even the fake words seem nice.
Be strong, don't explain or seek explanation. Don't let them manipulate words.
No.
Why not?
I don't need to give you a reason. "No" is a full sentence.
Why not?
"No." "Why not?" «I don’t have to explain myself to you »
Yup. If your first no wasn’t enough, then that’s enough of him. A man who can’t take no is not one you want to be around
If he asks why don’t reply.
Which part of the word "no" do you not understand?
"No" "Why not?" "Because I said No."
I bet he will keep trying. The amount of times I’ve had to cut out a male “friend” who won’t take no for an answer is depressing.
If it's at the point you feel you need to ask Reddit, the ship has sailed on 'politely', tell him to fuck off, and if you feel he might keep trying, buy some pepper spray.
Also, a perfectly valid response
Learning the local procedures for a Temporary Restraining Order and quoting them to him is also a possible step. Followed by actually filing one.
44m here. You don't politely decline a guy who doesn't take no for an answer. If you feel the need to actually give him an answer, it should be blunt and difinitive, but the best course of action is to block and ghost. Only creeps behave like this and you don't need creeps in your life.
Great fatherly advice.
"No." is a full sentence.
"No thank you." is alsoa full sentence.
"I don't want to." "I decline." These will all work.
Followed up by, "Stop asking." You can add a please if you still feel the need to be polite, but do set your boundaries firmly.
You’ve already been polite. Saying you’d feel uncomfortable is a clear boundary and the fact that he responded with but it’ll be fun is kinda a red flag. But if he keeps pushing after that, drop the polite act. You’re allowed to be blunt. Also, trust your gut. If you’re already feeling weird about this, that’s reason enough to step back. A guy who genuinely respects you isn’t gonna make you feel pressured just to hang out in his bed.
Thank you! I have felt very off about him and i thought that maybe i was crazy. I do feel disappointed in myself for letting it continue for too long
On one date i told him i didnt feel comfortable holding hands or being touched so soon, but he kept insisting since i said i was “not comfortable and unsure”.
I feel VERY naive and dumb for thinking it was normal. i genuinely thought thats how all first dates were supposed to go. He said a lot more things too that left me feeling gross and its made me wish to never go on another date again
I have felt very off about him and i thought that maybe i was crazy.
You're not crazy. Your alarm bells are screaming for a reason. That feeling that says 'something is off' is what keeps you alive and safe.
Jonna Mendez, the former CIA Chief of Disguise, said in a YouTube video that no officer will ever fault or blame another for aborting a mission because 'I don't know what it was, but something just didn't feel right'.
Never be ashamed or embarrassed to leave a situation, or cut someone out of your life, if something seems 'off'.
Please don’t go on any more dates with him either!
Definitely don't say you're unsure. To some people that will sound like you want to but are timid because its your first time and they think they have to give you a little push like the crew do for bungee jumpers. Whatever you communicate, communicate it clearly and with as much confidence as you can muster. Even if inside you are unsure don't communicate it.
Ehhh, idk about that. If youre on a date with someone and they say theyre unsure about doing an action with you, then the respectful and proper action is to allow them to take their time with it. They shouldnt try to give you a push.
Dating isnt bungee jumping. To those people that think they should be pushing through their partner's timidness, if they havent explicitly told you to do so then dont do that.
Anything other than a "yes" is a "no".
You already said no, not "ask again until I say yes."
The time to be polite was the first time, and you were. He's not being polite now, why should you be?
Also cut contact with him. Anyone who treats boundaries as negotiable is not someone you want in your life
Coercion is not consent - badgering down someone's resistance to the point where they agree to whatever just to get the asker off their backs is not a consensual interaction.
This.
You already said no, not "ask again until I say yes."
I think that's a perfect response. Unambiguous and it directly tells him that he's not getting the message.
I used to say things like, "Is there a reason you're ignoring what I've already said? I think that you're being disrespectful."
oo i genuinely love this response so much. i will remember this for next time when i have to deal with another similar person/situation
It works unbelievably well.
If you feel pressured, say, "I feel pressured, and I'm not comfortable with that." You don't owe anyone any explanation
Why explain you feel pressure if you don’t owe anyone an explanation?
The point is, she can say anything or nothing
Nah. There are dudes who don't care if you say "I don't feel comfortable" cause to them that's a sign that they can convince you to be more comfortable. You gotta be direct with these kinds of guys and don't owe them an explanation
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, that he thinks you're considering it but are just a bit nervous, you need to be clear rather than leaving any ambiguity. Just something like "No, I don't want to do that" is fine.
You’ve already said no. You feel bad. You shouldn’t. No is a complete answer.
He’s trying to keep drawing you in. He promises it’ll be fun, blah blah blah blah. You didn’t ask for any of that. He’s harassing you.
You can screenshot this conversation and then block him right away. But if you have a reason not to block him. If you have to work with him or see him in other context or he’s part of a friend group or there are things you like about him as a friend despite him transgressing your boundaries, then respond:
"I said no. I’m not interested. Stop asking."
Screenshot this back-and-forth immediately.
If he keeps pushing or brings it up again later, send him the screenshot of this with every time you said “no“ or “stop“ circled in red (or pink or purple or whatever bright colour you want)
You’re definitely right that he keeps trying to drawn me in. Im really certain on never actually going over though because i want my first time with someone to be genuinely meaningful instead of a hookup.
Also no not someone close, he’s just someone i went on dates with. The only time i might ever run into him is at my mall i go to since he says he works there.
I’ve already screenshotted parts of the convo just incase, but yes i will 100% block him.
it sucks that we live in a world where you have to learn to do this... but good for you for making the choice.
Please, no not. Everybody is like this. A lot of people will very graciously accept rejection. But it’s good to learn what to do when they don’t
To that end, make sure you mentally prepare for what happens if you do run into him in the mall.
Most likely he’ll be embarrassed and ignore you. If he hits on you there you can just loudly say something like "I’ve already said no. please stop asking me".
I might as well just get all the uncomfortable stuff out of the way right now so while I am sure it’s incredibly unlikely that he would do something like stalk you. But if he does something like, follow you through the mall or outside of the mall, and you’re not alone or feel vulnerable, just go up to any random person who looks like someone you could talk to/trust tell them what’s happening. "I rejected this guy and now he’s following me. Can I just talk to you for a few minutes until he goes away?"that sort of thing. In my experience, the public is your friend in situations like this.
Tell him if he asks you again you're going to screenshot all the messages and put them on blast on social media
Just say “no”. Explanation or justification NOT required.
"No thank you, I don't want to do that with you, I don't feel about you in that way"
"My idea of fun is doing what I want and mutually consent to, not what you want, especially when I've told you I don't want it."
All the blood from his brain might've gone to another area, but that should get it right back again.
Then again, we don't know the context here, so another response might be better. We don't know if he's an acquaintance, stranger, boyfriend, male friend, friend with (partial) benefits, etc. The answer might vary based on that.
For all the women here: "NO" IS ALWAYS A PERFECT REPLY
Sorry cowboy, I only ride horses.
i would politely tell him once more it will never happen and to stop asking. if he continues, absol go off on him and tell him you don’t want to ever hear from him again if he asks one more time, or don’t even give himmthat last chnace.
No means no. There is nothing else to say. If he can't understand that, then he isn't a friend and you'll have seen his red flags. There's no need to sugar coat things. Plus, men can be dense so saying "no" will get the point across.
However, do not say "maybe another time" or some other variation. He will continue to pester you because in his head he'll hear "I'm totally down to fuck you, but today isn't a good time for that. Maybe tomorrow"
Politeness is for the first offer.
Anything after that, simply cut contact permanently. If you can't, don't just be direct, be rude and ruthless.
What???
I would not even respond that gets added to the blocked list
Its your choice but why keep talking with them about it???
The blander and more direct you are, the better it is.
Simply say “No.” If he persists, “NO.”
Im not interested in you this way.
If persists and makes you uncomfortable, part ways or let a mutual friend know and ask them to reinforce the message next time they see each other. Verbally, not both agressively.
If a man can’t take “No” to this request and leave it at that, then that’s a dangerous person you do not want to be around
How do I politely decline
You don't
You absolutely do not need to be polite to him when he keeps pushing it. Get him out of your life because this isn't going to stop.
If you said no once and he keeps insisting, you don’t need to be polite.
as a guy, you dont, be blunt as fuck and say "No". dancing around the subject and trying to be nice about it will just make guys like him think theres a chance
Don’t be polite.
Why do you need to "politely decline" when you've already declined and he keeps pushing? Just decline and refuse to discuss it further. He's not being polite by respecting your boundaries.
you say: thank you but I'm not tired
the classic dad joke, i love it
Why do you need to be polite?
Look, men are so stupid when it comes to sex. I'm a man. We just ignore everything if we already imagined you naked or took this bed direction. Everything you say will be taken as a game or teasing if it is not the clear "NO".
I am able to understand women hint language, I feel them pretty good. But I see over and over that girls smile or flirt back when they don't want it, just to be polite, to be a "good girl". And it looks like "maybe yes, I don't know" (="YES, fuck me please") for most of the guys.
If you said no, and he didn't take it, say whatever you want. But if you insist on playing nice...
"I said no. Let it drop. Not cool."
Tell him a clear firm no.
Shut down all further questions with a clear and firm, “I don’t want to.”.
And a,
“I am not interested in you.”
The answer is no and will always be no. If you ask me once more I will block you.
"Nope, I don't think I will"
Simple, tell him, "I've already said "no."" If he won't respect it, he's not someone who respects you.
Ergo, someone not worth keeping in your life. Your body is yours, your allowed boundaries, and to tell people "no," even if we live in a society where people think getting their feelings hurt is a criminal offense.
first you put a n. plus an o.
the silence and serious face will do the rest.
repeat in case of fail.
"I already said no. I'm not interested. Do not ask me again."
Why even be polite? Just tell him straight up and bluntly you are not interested and to stop asking. He sounds like a creep tbh if he keeps pressuring you. I definitely would not go out drinking with him, no telling what he’ll try.
Uhhh yeah, dont let people pester you into a yes. They should take the hint and stop a pest. And dont feel sorry for them either, give an inch they will take a mile.
If they above the age of 25, seriously they can fuck off. But younger bloke, yeah unfortunately common rough desperatly cringe phase. But still. Its up to you.
Thank you!! Ill try not to feel guilty about something like this anymore. I definitely wish i could have handled it better, but at least i know now. I grew up with a controlling parent so it makes it way harder for me as an adult just saying no
Oh that sounds normal, yeah you learn in childhood you have to people please to keep the peace. So when you grow up you fear standing up for yourself and setting boundaries.
This bloke sounds like very common behavior I hear and have been shown by women, but never from men, yet they'll blame you to others for being difficult.
But yeah, if you're not keen on the idea and they still pester you. Its clear they just see you as a hole to fill, nothing more.
Also keep in mind. Some dudes get off by being sex pests. They enjoy your discomfort. It makes them feel special and in control. They will beg forgiveness if they push to far, but then come back creeping in again with the same behaviour.
No is a no, anything else is a creep/potential rapist.
You should never sleep with someone you feel pressured by. Attracted to yes. Pressured by no.
No!
Or: I’m so not into this I even asked Reddit for a proper response so you might get it.
If you said no once why be polite about it?
No, thank you. If he persists, no need to be polite.
Maybe give it the three-strikes and you're out rule. If you say 'no' three times, then politeness goes out the window because he's not taking no for an answer. I think that you've already said "no" in the most polite way. There's no pressure, because you've already told him "no." It ain't ever going to happen. You can also block him, and you won't have to say another word. But you do what you feel is most comfortable.
“You don’t want a future assault or harassment case on your hands dude” nah just a plain and firm “NO”
Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
IMO if this guy is pushing this hard and doesn’t know when to ease off then that’s a red flag. It’s one thing to be playful and flirty and another to keep pressuring someone.
Politely say "no thank you" and leave it there.
There's no reason to be polite to anyone who's impolite with you.
What part of no do you not understand… the ‘n’ or the ‘o’.
“No.” is a complete sentence.
In this order:
"No thanks."
"No."
"I'm calling the police."
Being polite is cool but don’t sugarcoat your boundaries “I’m not comfortable and I’m not changing my mind” says it loud without getting loud.
say in very clear terms "no" and "stop asking, because the answer will be no"
if he persists, block him / stop communicating
This is beyond inappropriate. You have already expressed a disinterest and he is trying to pressurise you. This is no friend or person you need in your life.
I don't know if you work together, same social circle etc but regardless he is praying on the fact you feel uncomfortable with advocating for yourself.
You have no need to justify why you aren't interested. You have no obligation or requirement to respond.
As a firm fan of the block function so I would do that.
You can respond with a "no" and highlight you will report this to the police. I would definitely report this to human resources if you work together.
Nasty men pray on women staying silent. Its similar to when you're on the metro and a man is acting up - it is so extraordinary (less so in todays world) many women don't know how to respond and are fearful of "causing a scene" as opposed to using our voice and going ape shit.
I was on the bus a few months back and saw an older lady do this on behalf of a young teenager. It was fantastic - the man got thrown off the bus.
Shaming a perpetrator is a powerful means in which to shine light on predatory behaviour. Too often sexual misconduct and abuse continues as people are shamed into staying silent. Its devastating.
Please do not misconstrue this as victim blaming. The confidence in knowing how to respond depends on many factors.
This man is vile and disrespectful.
Remove him from your sphere.
Stop being friendly or laughing it off and don't repeat yourself.
Guys need to hear a clear "NO". If you keep it ambiguous, he will still think there is a chance.
The reply:
“Thanks for the offer but you’re not my gig but I am sure if you trawl long enough you’ll get a yes. I loved this conversation. I’ve already paid for my drink so you can scan the room for a “yes””.
"No"
"I said no"
"If you don't stop I will call the police because you are harassing me"
"Explain it to the cops dumb fuck, go fuck yourself with a rusty baseball bat"
No need to be polite. Be firm. Communicate your decision loud and clear. Leave no ambiguity. Your body, your call.
No will suffice
No is a complete sentence.
Just say "no", that's it.
"No" is a complete answer. If you're ambiguous, he'll feel like you're leading him on. Don't be ambiguous.
No need to be an asshole. Just tell him the truth. Like you just told us.
You said no and he didn't respect that. He's continuing to pressure you into something you don't want. Why do you want to continue any contact with this jerk? Ghost him, block him, and be proud of loving yourself.
tell him no, tell him no more firmly and warn him that if you have to repeat yourself yet again, you're going to do it LOUDLY. If he won't stop after a nice No and a firm No, you're going to have to get rude. If you don't feel safe, you will need to leave immediately, such as by going up to a random mixed-sex group and just telling them that you don't feel safe because of that man, and ask if you can hang with them for a bit. Very rarely will a group say no.
What to say?
"I'M SORRY, I DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE HARD-OF-HEARING. SO, LET ME SAY THIS A THIRD TIME, BUT LOUDER. NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU. NO."
The fact that he didn’t take your first decline as a clue says a lot about him. You don’t owe him anything but an “I already said no so drop it or get in bed and f#ck yourself.”
Just say no. You don't need to defend yourself or care for his feelings 😂😂😂
After “No” you could follow it up to preempt any persistence with “please don’t ask me again, I won’t change my mind”
If he does go again, take control by being strong and forceful and with eye contact tell him if he ever mentions it again you’ll view it as harassment and take steps accordingly.
Or just put your finger down your throat and make gag noises until he leaves.
Be direct. "No, I'm not interested."
If he continues to pressure you, block him.
So many questions. Do you know this guy in person? Are you seeing each other? Is this an old friend? Who is this person to you? Why would you even consider his offer or feel pressured to give in?
No is polite. So is thank you, but hell no. If that doesn't work why are you still talking to him? No means no.
He’s just a guy who i had gone on 2 dates with and no we’re not seeing each other. I felt pressured to not come off as mean because I’m terrible with placing boundaries and this was my first time ever having dealt with a guy since ive never had any dating guidance. I do admit its my fault for not having the courage to be harsh and direct
Him asking again isn't your fault. You told him you didn't want to. It's his fault for not taking no for an answer. Some guys are like that. You owe him nothing.
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
It's not your fault.
it would be nice if we could be polite about it and be taken seriously. It’s completely reasonable, and in fact, kind of you to have been polite the first time. The only reason many of us are saying you can’t be is because we’ve learned. And don’t get me wrong. Some people do respond appropriately to a polite rejection. it just sucks that enough then don’t that we always have to do the math of whether or not it’s worth a risk to us to try to be polite first.
do you hope to maintain some sort of friendship and can you stomach getting a harassing comment after being polite? If yes, go for politeness first. just mentally prepare yourself for a man to possibly be harassing or really angry or insulting.
Do you absolutely not want to hear another thing from this person no matter what? Then fuck politeness and be direct.
either way, however, you say no, anything, but an acceptance of your no is harassment.
and it is not your fault if you’re being harassed. You didn’t ask for this and you didn’t bring it on yourself.
Now you can be direct but not harsh. But sometimes harshness is the only thing that works. Blocking somebody works even better. But I would screenshot everything first.
That's well put and exactly so. Especially the angry and insulting part. Some men can't handle rejection at all.
No.
No further explanation needed.
Just no.
Being polite is tricky because it encourages the pos to keep trying the same tactic on others. But turning aggressive can lead to other harms.
Just no and ignore
You're polite with the first no. Maybe the second if it seems like they genuinely don't get that you're saying no and need to make it clearer. The second they continue to push after they know your answer is no, it is best to be direct if not mean.
For the timid woman who doesn't want to make a scene or hurt someone: You MUST learn to be firm and direct even if you unintentionally hurt their feelings. The message must be clear and even a few men won't still get it. If they ask again you, say you do not want to sleep with them and that you'll never change your mind. Don't soften it or sugar coat it or try to make it easier. A man worth his salt will say "sorry" or "ok" and leave you alone. If they criticize you say "That's the way I feel". If they try to pressure you more, you can repeat what you said and LEAVE while telling them not to contact you again.
Just say "no."
"No" is a polite, complete sentence.
Continual asking merits a change to "No, fuck off."
You don't have to be polite. Just a No will suffice
"No is a complete sentence" If they don't listen block and get restraining orders as needed
I used to do this to girls, sorry on behalf of idiots everywhere, but if you're not straight up he's always gonna think there's a chance. honestly, you have to be very direct and blunt. He's gonna feel like you overreacted, it's gonna be awkward, he might even get mad, but he won't ask you any more. One girl told me, "I am never, ever going to have sex with you, do you understand? Please don't bring it up again." I was like damn. but I respect it now.
'No' is perfectly polite.
NO is a complete sentence. It only needs to be said once.
I definitely understand where you’re coming from, as I feel that I’m definitely too nice all the time. But be direct and firm. Tell him you aren’t interested in that side of things with him. He needs to learn to take no for an answer. I
As others have said, No is a complete sentence. And being assertive will be 1,000 times less uncomfortable than him continuing to pressure you.
If he continues to pressure you after that, then honestly just cut him out of your life, no one is worth that, and you never know what he’ll escalate to if he keeps thinking that yes means yes, and no meant try harder.
You don’t owe him sex, you don’t owe him your time, you don’t owe him anything.
No.
It's a complete answer requiring no further explanation. There's no need to explain why. And if he can't take no for an answer, there's no need to continue the conversation at all.
Please don't try to be polite, or indirect. And you also don't need to be harsh. No isn't harsh. It's direct, simple, easy to understand. No means no. That's the whole answer.
The dude that doesn't respect no is not a dude I'd be around.
Say "No" once, if he doesn't respect that, then you can go as harsh as you can.
Cuz if he doesn't respect a no even before anything happens, then theres always the chance that he wouldn't stop when you say no in a situation that you feel uncomfortable in.
Always harshly direct. Especially since you have already explained your feelings.
“No” is a complete sentence.
i’m not gay but i’ll learn
"No" is a full sentence and doesn't need qualifying.
No. Works just fine and contrary to insecure people beliefs isn’t rude.
Just tell him to fuck himself if he's that desperate for an orgasm.
Say no, if he asks again tell him you will post about him on your socials. If he asks again do it.
Do you feel safe being direct? If so, do so, if not remove yourself entirely.
yes i do, the only time i might ever run into him is at the mall which hopefully never happens
Impolite =/= bad. Really sucks that a lot of people are brought up thinking they must be polite above all, enforcing boundaries requires setting politeness aside, and thats not bad, its good.
If you need to ask reddit for an opinion, the person you are talking to is already being impolite, politeness has already left the conversation.
You say “no thanks”. And if he pushes you block him.
“No” is all you need to say. If he keeps bugging you, block him.
If you want to be polite, "no, but thank you for the invite". Else just "no". Any attempts to get around the no (persuasion, pressure, whatever), gets a "I already said no. Don't ask me again." If he does, cut all contact, immediately and permanently. Don't feel bad about it either; he was warned.
Best way Fuck off dude I said no
"No"
“I’m not gay but I’ll learn.”
"Nah"
He is clearly pressuring you and Im curious why he would. Are you seeing each other or spend a lot of time alone together? Or is this just some random? How old are the pair of you? It is something id expect to see from young people or people that are new/experimenting with intimacy. I will say its not uncommon to feel uncomfortable even IF you like the guy when you are new to this kind of thing. Your best bet if you like him and are seeing each other is to just explain how you feel and that you aren't THERE yet.
First request.. a simple "no thanks, I'm not interested."
Anything after that it's "Hey, asshole, are you fucking stupid!? I said no, stay the fuck away from me."
If it goes on, pepper spray, a firearm, a protective order.
Edit: This is if you can't just block and go no contact if he persists, which is simpler.
Why do you have to be polite? If you have already said you feel uncomfortable and he keeps pushing, it means he doesn’t give a damn about your feelings. Why should you care about his???
I'm a man, and if a woman made advanced in such a way I'd find it: creepy; rude; who the hell do you think you are?
Harsh and direct.
Send him no and if he still persists then send him a link from the dictionary explaining what no means.
"No thanks"
You don’t have to be polite
“No means no Bill Cosby.”
“I am gay”
Just say nope.
The fact that you’re asking this guy is giving off strong creeper vibes…you need to be firm with him and just say no
People have been saying to say no and im for that, but in case you still wanna be friends with this dude, id maybe break it down another way.
Tell him that even if you did change your mind, it wouldnt be by that much. That you wouldnt be into it no matter what and does he really want that kind of experience? He deserves to be with someone whos enthusiastically with him, and that ain't gonna be you. You'd be glad to play wingman and help hook him up with another lady.
Sprinkle in more "you remind me of a brother or parent" and thay when you look/talk to him you see relatives and despite what the internet likes, youre not into that.
In my personal experience, id be more hurt if there was something I could do about things, but if you can break it down to him that there's nothing he can do, that youre just not into him like that, it may make things easier to digest
Why do you need to be polite?
No means no. Always.
If he keeps pressuring you, screenshot the texts and call the cops.
Just tell him it’s never gonna happen, move on
Firmly Direct.
If he doesn't get the message, escalate to harshly direct and block.
If you have said no/declined multiple times and they are still trying to persuade you, this is a 🚩. People who push are not interested in your well being but meeting their wants. Get rid of this person asap. I have learned this the hard way in my early 20s.
Say no, I’m not going to be pressured into having sex. Then, block him.
I'm not feeling it unfortunately. Good luck in your search for sex but it is time you considered your other options. Just to be absolutely clear, it is a 'no' from me.
they answer is Yes or No. How you deliver it is up to you. I prefer kindness if they deserve it and have not done anything wrong. However, since you have already answered him once I would definitely show some strength and fight and be loud/more aggressive/annoyed in your response. Through practice you will find your voice for this and many other things throughout life.
If 'no thanks' isn't sufficient the guy is a fucking creep and you should probably just block him and keep your distance.
You want to be polite so you don't ruin a friendship? Just keep it simple, do not leave the door open for negotiation. Say "No thank you, that does not appeal to me."
If he then responds again upping the pressure then you can ditch some of the politeness and say "I have already given you your answer, do we have a problem?"
You don’t need to be polite. He’s harassing you.
Tell him to get fucked and if he keeps texting you that you’re going to report him to the police. If it’s someone you know from work, take it to HR. If it’s a mutual friend, let your friend group know what he’s doing.
I can't remember how it was worded. But there was a really good piece of advice from a woman that was saying women being polite is putting them in danger. If they ask a second time just go crazy and scream no.
No. —> I am not sleeping with stranger. —> We are not in relationship. —> I have absolutely no desire to sleep with you. —> I am not going to have sex with you. (in Stronger Tone) —> The way you pushed me to have sex is offending. —> I dislike Friend-with-Benefit. Never mention it in front of me again.
Fuck off you pervert. I'm calling my mom!
You sound very young. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Oh and a teenage boy will say all kinds of things to get some.
let him know you aren’t tired and therefore not ready for bed yet
No.
Don't worry about being polite. "I don't want to have sex with you. Don't ask me again" is just fine.
Stop worrying about being polite to a man who has no respect for your boundaries.
"No" is a full sentence.
Don't worry about being polite, as he certainly isn't.
As a man I can clearly say, don’t be polite.
While academically we all know that no means no, most horny guys take any politeness as a maybe, keep pushing. Be firm, not happening.
Why are we turning simple things into complex issues
You don’t need to be polite. A real man will be able to handle the rejection. It’s part of life. Women do not need to coddle self-centered adolescents who can’t control their urges.
Here's the script. Try not to deviate.
"No."
If he keeps pushing, you tell him that you would never want to get with someone who doesn't take no for an answer.
No apology, no "it's tempting but..." no "I feel that...", no nothing. Politeness is a trap. If he gets the message and backs off and stays backed off then you can be nice to him again but when we push our luck it needs to be shut down.
If you're not comfortable you have to be direct and say "No I am not interested". No explanation needed.
There are guys like this one you are talking to that will see politeness or being unsure as an invitation to keep trying until you say yes, they don't care if you aren't comfortable with it. Being blunt and direct is how most will realize you actually do mean no and if not then buy some pepper spray.
It's always best to be polite always. If I was in the same situation I would just reiterate and say this. As fun as it might sound I am just not ready for that, and if it comes up again I would just say "we have already had this conversation." And if it comes up again then I would suggest not speaking with that individual
"I appreciate the compliment but I am not interested in getting into your bed."
Also, don't let someone pressure you into sex; coercion is not consent.
"Sorry, I have to floss my cat."
People may not like this, but tell him youre trans and you are a top. That should do the trick.
No, I’m not ready for that yet.
Young women are way too worried about being polite. Nothing wrong with politeness but not at the cost of communication or boundaries. Life gets way easier and more satisfying when you start telling it like it is and not putting up with any degree of inappropriate behavior (such as pressuring you to sleep with him).
In this case reading between the lines it sounds like you sort of said no but in a convoluted way to be nice, and now he's pushing it. I'd just say "I'm not interested but good luck out there" or something. If he suggests it again go ahead and tell him off.
if you already said no and he's trying to push you harder then I'd defs recommend being harshly direct. Sounds like a boundary pusher but I don't have much info.
Just say “no, I’m not interested. And you’re making me uncomfortable by continuing to ask”.
You don’t need to be polite. He’s not being polite by pressuring you after you said no.
Ultimately you may wanna just block him. But turn him down firmly first. It’s good practice.
Example in first paragraph is not impolite. It's direct and honest. It's not leading him on.
It's what someone needs to hear, especially if they're not too good at picking up social cues.
Never forget that some (not all) guys see mere politeness/ordinary courtesy as indication you are interested in them.
I'm gay and I've known some shy guys that get confused the difference between "I like you" and "I'm attracted to you".
Some people just aren't blessed with social cues and need a solid line spelled out to them.
But at the same time someone needs to acknowledge when you lay down that solid No and stop making any advances or comments that make you uncomfortable.
OP you owe nothing to a guy that can't respect your boundaries, if he has no courtesy to be polite you don't need to be either.
Can't agree more to this, if you don't want it make it known, just be loud and clear
That's perfect.
Absolutely. You don’t need to be polite when someone is pushing you to the border of harassing
As a man, can confirm. This is the best approach, direct and honest, zero emotion.