PeterExplainsTheJoke
Peter, what does it mean?
Discussion
The thief wanted to write a morphine prescription..
And Its not sold in pounds (its usually in small amount of milligrams)
And its not given as a take away.
And its not given as a take away.
Is it normally to be consumed right in the drug store?
Only if you’re a legend.
You do your business here at the counter sir!
Mi casa es su casa!
Gotta make sure they take it. Good luck driving home.
They don't write it as "to go", it's kind of assumed.
Pharmacist: Wait, so do you want fries with that or not?
"would you be interested in making it an XXL baby size for an extra $5"
https://i.redd.it/nkkcpg2g3vbf1.gif
Fry: Can I have a small slurm please.
Man: For 25 cents less you can get an extra small
Fry: OK.
Are you suggesting that there are places that sell morphine and fries? This business is going to explode!
The trickster tv and book series has a teen guy that works in a fast food place, sells fries alongside drugs. Some code work that let's him know they aren't just ordering fries
. . . I live in a state where weed is legal, cannabis consumption lounges exist . . . why don't any of them sell food?
Regulations, maybe? But you're totally right. If bar-and-grill establishments can exist, why not have dispensary-and-grill places?
Love me some morphine when Im high on fries
It’s funny but some pharmacies used to serve steak so why not? Let’s bring it back.
And soda and ice cream.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat mother fucker? There′s room in the bag, take it!
AFAIK there are a couple drugs that are administered like that (you show up and they give you exactly one dose to take in front of the pharmacy tech), but morphine isn't one of them.
Like what? Methadone (and similar) is the only thing I can think of.
Yeah, that was the one I was thinking of but couldn't remember the name of. Not sure how many there are, but there are a couple exceptions to the typical "take home a supply of the drug" pharmacy interaction.
Most shots, I assume? (Like tetanus shot)
Ketamine therapy is usually done in the hospital 2x a week via nasal spray and you have to go in person for each appointment.
They tried to do it outpatient but some illegal immigrant started abusing it and ruined the US government.
Depends on the patient. Back at the pharmacy I used to work at we had a couple people who came in daily for stuff you'd normally be allowed at least a month of, like morphine but also less controlled things like sleeping pills or mood stabilizers, because they would always just take the whole bottle if you gave them more.
There's a shot you can get to prevent HIV infection (that's not a vaccine, its a drug) - you go to the pharmacy, they give you the injection, and you're on your way. Just have to go in every couple months to keep the level of the drug in your system high enough
I've seen methadone given to people in front of me while waiting for a prescription before. One guy asked if he could take it and take it when he gets home but the pharmacist laughed and said "you know I can't do that sir"
Like an Italian with an espresso
Delivery?
And the prescription was legible
To give more info, there is a very specific way prescriptions are written and this is very very far from it.
You mean I can’t Door Dash it?
Jeez I thought it was a meme sub, it's yet again the explain sub. Do all these LLms really need this input?
And possibly there are 2 subtle elements: mofine might be an inner city pronunciation, and also pounds are also inappropriate as even in the US, science mostly uses metric, so a Kg or .5Kg would be more fitting than “pound”.
so a Kg or .5Kg would be more fitting than “pound”
A typical IV morphine dose would be in the region of 2-10mg
So a kg of morphine would be enough to keep my busy (500 patients/day) ED supplied for about a year...
And stollen is a spicy, fruity German bread that's popular at Christmas. You can get that to take away.
He made the script like it’s fast food
Also the fact that the person wrote "mofine" instead of "morphine" indicates they have a non-rhotic accent (doesn't pronounce "r's" when they appear in the middle or end of words) and thought the substance was spelled the way they pronounce it. Non-rhotic accents are more common outside the US, hence the relevance of the doctor's nationality.
I honestly wouldn't have gotten that if you hadn't said it. I was stuck on a "fra-jeel-ay … it must be Italian" reading, as every short sequence of letters appears to be an actual drug.
This. And yes this does happen more often than it should. My dad was a pharmacist for 50 years, they would get calls from time to time to let them know when a certain Dr. would have one of there RX pads stolen. It happens less now that most of is done all electronic.
Dine-in only.
Doctors used to have DEA ID codes/numbers to prescribe certain narcotics and controlled substances. Stealing the notepads doesn’t do anything since that info is not on the pad. The system is more secure now and most times, such substances need to directly called in to the pharmacy.
Sir this is a Wendy’s
I said "to go."
Fine, a small frosty too
someone stole a plastic surgeons rx pad (a pad of paper for perscriptions) and tried getting morphine out of it..
there is no joke.
Oh there's a joke alright. It's pretty hilarious that the thief thought they would be successful when they terribly misspelled "morphine", tried to prescribe it in the form of a 1lb. (rather than the tiny metric amounts of is normally prescribed in) and included "to go" as a totally unnecessary direction on a prescription.
The joke is how stupid this attempted theft of morphine was.
1 pound of morphine would be enough to kill several elephants 😅
Shit, I just ate two pounds of my patent pending Morphine Muffins™! What the fuck do I do now?
How did you manage to make muffins entirely out of morphine?
I have many connections with the Baker Mafia.
Baker goon #2083 writing to let you know that your order of 110% morphine flour was accidentally swapped with a shipment sent to *muffins exclusively for elephants LLC"
Have a bake tastic day
Do you know... The Muffin Man?
eat a metric fuckton of prunes, because morphine is constipating... without those prunes, you're never gonna shit again
Have about 50 of my Narcan Nut Brittles! STAT
Well, you're not an elephant, so you should be fine
Listen, when I was in active addiction, I could almost dispute that claim, and I'm not a special case. Maybe those elephants just need to get their tolerance levels up. To quote the prophet Viper: "you'll cowards don't even smoke crack."
The lethal dose for morphine in humans is at most 70 mg (0.07 g). A pound is 454g. A human can weight around 100 Kg (not the average, but just an aprox), to an elephant's 6000. This gives us a lethal dose of ~4.5 grams of morphine for an elephant (I'm being generous). So, 1 pound would be enough to kill 100 elephants 😅.
And to top it off, it was probably written legibly
I think the real joke is that the pharmacy had to call the doctor to make sure it wasn't a legit recipe..
The joke is that the surgeon thought it was so comical someone would attempt this that he got it framed so he could remember it.
This should be higher
I wouldn't say there's a "joke" per se, but it's definitely not easy to understand the tweet.
"Rx" isn't too known to laypeople, the misspelled "stollen", "mofine" (I couldn't figure out what this means, didn't expect morphone).
The real joke is that the Dr. framed a HIPAA violation
Stollen? That takes the biscuit
Let him Baumkuchen
Die Deutschen verstecken sich hier
Nein, nein, das ist nicht der Fall.
Takes the cake.
She also wrote the suspicious script.
It set off alarm bells when morphine wasn't spelled "mscribblepscribblescribble"
Honestly, the real red flag is anyone writing “1 pound” like it’s a deli order instead of a prescription.
1lb/454g. 1200units. Unlimited refills. Pure, uncut, to-go.
That's a professional script. No lies.
Misspelling It is morphine, not "mofine."
1 pound is like going to McDonald's and ordering a semi-truck of chicken nuggets in the drive-thru.
Morphine is not going to be prescribed by raw weight. It would need to be a compounding pharmacy with instructions on how to deliver it, like suspended in a solution like Roxinol.
Opioids are usually delivered in pills except for special circumstances stances as they are easy to measure and take by a patient. Some circumstances require special like suspensions for quick absorption, like for hospice care.
- To go.
This is just not pharmacy instructions. It is a fast food order. It would have been funnier if he ordered dine-in.
Pharmacy instructions are what you are prescribing in dose, frequency, quantity, and when to take it all written in shorthand.
So, this is laughable on so many levels.
This is just not pharmacy instructions. It is a fast food order.
which is funny because many pharmacies (in the US) now have drive-throughs https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/walgreens-drive-thru-pharmacy-cars-260nw-1736771795.jpg
You know what I meant. It isn't like this,
MWG: Welcome to McWallGreens, how can we take your order?
Customer: Yes, I would like the Opioid combo with 3 percocet, 5 narco, and hydromorphone.
MWG: Would you like an Actiq with that?
Customer: Yes, Please. Oh, and can you add a pound of mofine with that?
MWG: Got that, so I have opiod combo with 3 percocet, 5 narco, a hydromorphone, an Actiq and a pound of morphine. Your bill comes to $1,131.23. Please drive through.
Customer: Damn, maybe I should have only got half a pound of mofine.
You know what I meant. It isn't like this,
Yes, I just found it amusing that (if true), the guy who stole the Rx pad probably thought of it that way; that it would be like ordering at McWalgreens including the drive through option
I mispelled Walgreens as Wallgreens so it didn't match the company name. lol. You have to be careful these days.
Even so, how many people in the drive-thru ask for it "to go?" lol
Maybe that would be funny if people did that. (Or even better, as for it dine-in and when they got confused and bagged it anyway, park and take it inside to eat.)
Fuck me this isn't even difficult
I’m leaving this sub
This fucking sub needs to be nuked. How is this a post?
It‘s someone trying to push racist jokes on the front page
Are people just getting dumber?
There just ain’t no way you’re all this dense with some of these posts. But apparently this is an English second language moment so it’s all good
This was pretty funny. Oh, sorry, I meant “phunny”.
Plot twist: the pharmacy was suspicious because the prescription was legible
If that guy is on that much opioid, I doubt it was. lol
They tried to pay via check, the only check he ever wrote. Please note that in the date line, he's written "Today comma 1783". It was made out for the amount of $72,000,000, and was payable to "Drugs". In the memo line it says "for drugs, yo" and it's signed John Travolta.
iPad baby levels of critical thinking. Just like, try real hard for longer than a minute to figure it out, holy shit.
What is with these pointless posts? How can someone not understand this? If someone is this bad at understanding English why post here? I’d this a translation sub? Seems like every post is like this now.
If you are not fluent in English that has nothing to do with explaining jokes.
I am a RN and this script is perfect. I'd laugh my ass off too if I ever were to see that.
So basically scripts are written in Latin and they're as far as I can tell the same, in North America at least. So a normal script would probably looks like either an unreadable scribbles of text or something that looks like Egyptian hieroglyphs.
But seriously it would probably read something alike : morphine 5mg p.o. q4h prn and since it's a very controlled substance they usually specify something like : serve 10 or 20 and will specify if it's renewable.
Man comprehension skills are fucking cooked, this is just a person telling a story, there's basically nothing to get. "Petah can you read this to me? I forgot how to"
Racism
it's obviously about the ironic "stollen". /jk
It's an old urban legend.
The idea is that someone stole a prescription pad and then got caught because they tried to order a pound of morphine to go.
Every single time I have heard this joke, it's always been morphine, and always spelt "mofine" as it would be pronounced in African American Vernacular English. But I'm sure that's a coincidence...
The joke is racism.
Plot twist: OP is the thief and is gathering hints on what he did wrong.
I refuse to believe anyone wouldn't understand this.
It means you're an idiot.
This is an old, racist joke. The misspelling of "morphine" is intentionally designed to put one in mind of African-American dialects. I've seen references to this joke that suggest it's at least 70 years old.
So, ha-ha, racism!
"to go' vs my eat-in pharmacy.
In the US, you can get your drugs this way https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/walgreens-drive-thru-pharmacy-cars-260nw-1736771795.jpg
Morphine. 1 pound. Dine in
AAVE
Someone stole his pad and wanted to get a pound of morphine.
This has been an urban legend in the medical community as old as time. I remember my nurse aunt telling me the same tale when I was a kid in the 90’s.
This joke has been around since the 80s as a friend of mine said. Not likely it ever happened
To go man 🤣 like not served at a table in the pharmacy
First time I heard that joke was from a doctor in 1999. This joke is literally over 25 years old.
He did a very bad job trying to steal morphine.
For reference, 1 pound is 453592.37 milligrams. According to a quick Google, 200 milligrams is enough to fatally overdose the average adult, meaning that's enough morphine to kill just under 2268 people.
That shoes how ludicrous the amount he is asking for is.
Stollen? A sort of bread with raisins and sugar?
Can you still get a paper prescription? Because I have not seen one in something like a decade or more.
Peters' German distant relative klaus here, I would like a slice of this stollen.
The pad was stollen. Mmm stollen😋
This subreddit isn’t beating the allegations 😞
“Mofine” is taking me out lmao
This one has been going around for at least thirty years, and first showed up on the Internet in the mid-’90s The joke is that the ignorant, criminal addict has a non-rhotic accent, implying (to Americans) that he is Black. Sometimes “pound” changes to “kilo,” and “morphine” gets misspelled many different ways, but always without the R.
"stollen"
Well, we know who did it.
Joke aside, what would one pound of morphine even cost?
1 pound of morphine that's enough to overdose 1000 people.
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