PeterExplainsTheJoke

Peter, what does it mean?

Peter, what does it mean?
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14 hours ago
oldmonkforeva

The thief wanted to write a morphine prescription..

And Its not sold in pounds (its usually in small amount of milligrams)

And its not given as a take away.

14 hours ago
queetuiree

And its not given as a take away.

Is it normally to be consumed right in the drug store?

14 hours ago
deedsnance

Only if you’re a legend.

13 hours ago
Takoyaki_Dice

You do your business here at the counter sir!

13 hours ago
Kyet0ai

Mi casa es su casa!

6 hours ago
BigBogBotButt

Gotta make sure they take it. Good luck driving home.

14 minutes ago
NecessaryIntrinsic

They don't write it as "to go", it's kind of assumed.

13 hours ago
SeemedReasonableThen

Pharmacist: Wait, so do you want fries with that or not?

12 hours ago
Sudden_Fisherman_779

"would you be interested in making it an XXL baby size for an extra $5"

11 hours ago
popogeist

https://i.redd.it/nkkcpg2g3vbf1.gif

Fry: Can I have a small slurm please.

Man: For 25 cents less you can get an extra small

Fry: OK.

10 hours ago
ThirstyWolfSpider

Are you suggesting that there are places that sell morphine and fries? This business is going to explode!

8 hours ago
MaxTheRealSlayer

The trickster tv and book series has a teen guy that works in a fast food place, sells fries alongside drugs. Some code work that let's him know they aren't just ordering fries

7 hours ago
SeemedReasonableThen

. . . I live in a state where weed is legal, cannabis consumption lounges exist . . . why don't any of them sell food?

7 hours ago
EffervescentEngineer

Regulations, maybe? But you're totally right. If bar-and-grill establishments can exist, why not have dispensary-and-grill places?

4 hours ago
GlitteringEbb1807

Love me some morphine when Im high on fries

1 hour ago
Dooropener19

You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat mother fucker? There′s room in the bag, take it!

6 hours ago
mxzf

AFAIK there are a couple drugs that are administered like that (you show up and they give you exactly one dose to take in front of the pharmacy tech), but morphine isn't one of them.

11 hours ago
Consistent_Tower_458

Like what? Methadone (and similar) is the only thing I can think of.

10 hours ago
mxzf

Yeah, that was the one I was thinking of but couldn't remember the name of. Not sure how many there are, but there are a couple exceptions to the typical "take home a supply of the drug" pharmacy interaction.

9 hours ago
7Sale7

Most shots, I assume? (Like tetanus shot)

8 hours ago
Unusual_Pitch_608

Depends on the patient. Back at the pharmacy I used to work at we had a couple people who came in daily for stuff you'd normally be allowed at least a month of, like morphine but also less controlled things like sleeping pills or mood stabilizers, because they would always just take the whole bottle if you gave them more.

6 hours ago
steam_powered_rug

Ketamine therapy is usually done in the hospital 2x a week via nasal spray and you have to go in person for each appointment.

They tried to do it outpatient but some illegal immigrant started abusing it and ruined the US government.

2 hours ago
phanfare

There's a shot you can get to prevent HIV infection (that's not a vaccine, its a drug) - you go to the pharmacy, they give you the injection, and you're on your way. Just have to go in every couple months to keep the level of the drug in your system high enough

3 hours ago
naoife

Like an Italian with an espresso

12 hours ago
zxvasd

Delivery?

8 hours ago
Sacez

And the prescription was legible

12 hours ago
ComplexPants

To give more info, there is a very specific way prescriptions are written and this is very very far from it.

11 hours ago
Mysterious-Tie7039

You mean I can’t Door Dash it?

10 hours ago
kdlt

Jeez I thought it was a meme sub, it's yet again the explain sub. Do all these LLms really need this input?

9 hours ago
ScottMarshall2409

And stollen is a spicy, fruity German bread that's popular at Christmas. You can get that to take away.

5 hours ago
ThirstyWolfSpider

I honestly wouldn't have gotten that if you hadn't said it. I was stuck on a "fra-jeel-ay … it must be Italian" reading, as every short sequence of letters appears to be an actual drug.

8 hours ago
LanceFree

And possibly there are 2 subtle elements: mofine might be an inner city pronunciation, and also pounds are also inappropriate as even in the US, science mostly uses metric, so a Kg or .5Kg would be more fitting than “pound”.

7 hours ago
Penjing2493

so a Kg or .5Kg would be more fitting than “pound”

A typical IV morphine dose would be in the region of 2-10mg

So a kg of morphine would be enough to keep my busy (500 patients/day) ED supplied for about a year...

30 minutes ago
Irrelevantitis

Dine-in only.

6 hours ago
Shy_SlutHeart

This. And yes this does happen more often than it should. My dad was a pharmacist for 50 years, they would get calls from time to time to let them know when a certain Dr. would have one of there RX pads stolen. It happens less now that most of is done all electronic.

4 hours ago
one_koala

He made the script like it’s fast food

2 hours ago
Mephisto1822

Sir this is a Wendy’s

14 hours ago
SaltManagement42

I said "to go."

14 hours ago
Whooskerdont

Fine, a small frosty too

13 hours ago
No_Firefighter1301

someone stole a plastic surgeons rx pad (a pad of paper for perscriptions) and tried getting morphine out of it..

there is no joke.

14 hours ago
Rez_Incognito

Oh there's a joke alright. It's pretty hilarious that the thief thought they would be successful when they terribly misspelled "morphine", tried to prescribe it in the form of a 1lb. (rather than the tiny metric amounts of is normally prescribed in) and included "to go" as a totally unnecessary direction on a prescription.

The joke is how stupid this attempted theft of morphine was.

14 hours ago
Quiri1997

1 pound of morphine would be enough to kill several elephants 😅

13 hours ago
dickhater4000

Shit, I just ate two pounds of my patent pending Morphine Muffins™! What the fuck do I do now?

12 hours ago
Quiri1997

How did you manage to make muffins entirely out of morphine?

11 hours ago
dickhater4000

I have many connections with the Baker Mafia.

11 hours ago
TheHekler

Baker goon #2083 writing to let you know that your order of 110% morphine flour was accidentally swapped with a shipment sent to *muffins exclusively for elephants LLC"

Have a bake tastic day

10 hours ago
zed42

eat a metric fuckton of prunes, because morphine is constipating... without those prunes, you're never gonna shit again

11 hours ago
Biengineerd

Have about 50 of my Narcan Nut Brittles! STAT

10 hours ago
UncreativePotato143

Well, you're not an elephant, so you should be fine

8 hours ago
mechanicalhuman

And to top it off, it was probably written legibly 

10 hours ago
Galenthias

I think the real joke is that the pharmacy had to call the doctor to make sure it wasn't a legit recipe..

6 hours ago
eXeKoKoRo

The joke is that the surgeon thought it was so comical someone would attempt this that he got it framed so he could remember it.

13 hours ago
BabyStingrayJesus

It’s also an old urban legend.

10 hours ago
Any_Brain_7067

This should be higher

6 hours ago
HolyHypodermics

I wouldn't say there's a "joke" per se, but it's definitely not easy to understand the tweet.

"Rx" isn't too known to laypeople, the misspelled "stollen", "mofine" (I couldn't figure out what this means, didn't expect morphone).

9 hours ago
MrColburn

The real joke is that the Dr. framed a HIPAA violation

7 hours ago
Otherwise_Living_158

Stollen? That takes the biscuit

14 hours ago
JoeyHandsomeJoe

Let him Baumkuchen

13 hours ago
GraveKommander

Die Deutschen verstecken sich hier

12 hours ago
definitely_yes

Nein, nein, das ist nicht der Fall.

6 hours ago
11never

Takes the cake.

12 hours ago
cakeman666

She also wrote the suspicious script.

8 hours ago
Wide_Ad5549

It set off alarm bells when morphine wasn't spelled "mscribblepscribblescribble"

13 hours ago
Fit_Marionberry_1084

Honestly, the real red flag is anyone writing “1 pound” like it’s a deli order instead of a prescription.

13 hours ago
SuperPimpToast

1lb/454g. 1200units. Unlimited refills. Pure, uncut, to-go.

That's a professional script. No lies.

7 hours ago
kullnerd

Fuck me this isn't even difficult

13 hours ago
Starfury7-Jaargen
  1. Misspelling It is morphine, not "mofine."

  2. 1 pound is like going to McDonald's and ordering a semi-truck of chicken nuggets in the drive-thru.

  3. Morphine is not going to be prescribed by raw weight. It would need to be a compounding pharmacy with instructions on how to deliver it, like suspended in a solution like Roxinol.

Opioids are usually delivered in pills except for special circumstances stances as they are easy to measure and take by a patient. Some circumstances require special like suspensions for quick absorption, like for hospice care.

  1. To go.

This is just not pharmacy instructions. It is a fast food order. It would have been funnier if he ordered dine-in.

Pharmacy instructions are what you are prescribing in dose, frequency, quantity, and when to take it all written in shorthand.

So, this is laughable on so many levels.

13 hours ago
SeemedReasonableThen

This is just not pharmacy instructions. It is a fast food order.

which is funny because many pharmacies (in the US) now have drive-throughs https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/walgreens-drive-thru-pharmacy-cars-260nw-1736771795.jpg

12 hours ago
Starfury7-Jaargen

You know what I meant. It isn't like this,

MWG: Welcome to McWallGreens, how can we take your order?

Customer: Yes, I would like the Opioid combo with 3 percocet, 5 narco, and hydromorphone.

MWG: Would you like an Actiq with that?

Customer: Yes, Please. Oh, and can you add a pound of mofine with that?

MWG: Got that, so I have opiod combo with 3 percocet, 5 narco, a hydromorphone, an Actiq and a pound of morphine. Your bill comes to $1,131.23. Please drive through.

Customer: Damn, maybe I should have only got half a pound of mofine.

11 hours ago
SeemedReasonableThen

You know what I meant. It isn't like this,

Yes, I just found it amusing that (if true), the guy who stole the Rx pad probably thought of it that way; that it would be like ordering at McWalgreens including the drive through option

11 hours ago
Starfury7-Jaargen

I mispelled Walgreens as Wallgreens so it didn't match the company name. lol. You have to be careful these days.

Even so, how many people in the drive-thru ask for it "to go?" lol

Maybe that would be funny if people did that. (Or even better, as for it dine-in and when they got confused and bagged it anyway, park and take it inside to eat.)

11 hours ago
dr4wn_away

I’m leaving this sub

13 hours ago
Kidd_911

This fucking sub needs to be nuked. How is this a post?

11 hours ago
Streambotnt

It‘s someone trying to push racist jokes on the front page

1 hour ago
movieator

Are people just getting dumber?

11 hours ago
spacemouse21

This was pretty funny. Oh, sorry, I meant “phunny”.

13 hours ago
HillbillyEEOLawyer

Plot twist: the pharmacy was suspicious because the prescription was legible

13 hours ago
Starfury7-Jaargen

If that guy is on that much opioid, I doubt it was. lol

11 hours ago
DearestNoctero

There just ain’t no way you’re all this dense with some of these posts. But apparently this is an English second language moment so it’s all good

11 hours ago
Schmilettante

They tried to pay via check, the only check he ever wrote. Please note that in the date line, he's written "Today comma 1783". It was made out for the amount of $72,000,000, and was payable to "Drugs". In the memo line it says "for drugs, yo" and it's signed John Travolta.

12 hours ago
DentArthurDent4

it's obviously about the ironic "stollen". /jk

14 hours ago
tr0nvicious

iPad baby levels of critical thinking. Just like, try real hard for longer than a minute to figure it out, holy shit.

11 hours ago
nofreelaunch

What is with these pointless posts? How can someone not understand this? If someone is this bad at understanding English why post here? I’d this a translation sub? Seems like every post is like this now.

If you are not fluent in English that has nothing to do with explaining jokes.

10 hours ago
Queasy_Wasabi_5187

Plot twist: OP is the thief and is gathering hints on what he did wrong.

10 hours ago
R0B0T0-san

I am a RN and this script is perfect. I'd laugh my ass off too if I ever were to see that.

So basically scripts are written in Latin and they're as far as I can tell the same, in North America at least. So a normal script would probably looks like either an unreadable scribbles of text or something that looks like Egyptian hieroglyphs.

But seriously it would probably read something alike : morphine 5mg p.o. q4h prn and since it's a very controlled substance they usually specify something like : serve 10 or 20 and will specify if it's renewable.

10 hours ago
p1ckled0nions

Man comprehension skills are fucking cooked, this is just a person telling a story, there's basically nothing to get. "Petah can you read this to me? I forgot how to"

9 hours ago
Ok_Midnight1414

Racism

9 hours ago
chimpyjnuts

"to go' vs my eat-in pharmacy.

13 hours ago
SeemedReasonableThen

In the US, you can get your drugs this way https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/walgreens-drive-thru-pharmacy-cars-260nw-1736771795.jpg

12 hours ago
reimusanae

Morphine. 1 pound. Dine in

13 hours ago
sekkiman12

AAVE

12 hours ago
Hadrollo

It's an old urban legend.

The idea is that someone stole a prescription pad and then got caught because they tried to order a pound of morphine to go.

Every single time I have heard this joke, it's always been morphine, and always spelt "mofine" as it would be pronounced in African American Vernacular English. But I'm sure that's a coincidence...

12 hours ago
hankeypoo

The joke is racism.

9 hours ago
playdead81

Someone stole his pad and wanted to get a pound of morphine.

12 hours ago
Suspicious_Sign3419

This has been an urban legend in the medical community as old as time. I remember my nurse aunt telling me the same tale when I was a kid in the 90’s.

10 hours ago
iheartgold

This joke has been around since the 80s as a friend of mine said. Not likely it ever happened

10 hours ago
SpeedAdmirable6078

To go man 🤣 like not served at a table in the pharmacy

8 hours ago
DJDevon3

First time I heard that joke was from a doctor in 1999. This joke is literally over 25 years old.

8 hours ago
Faolan26

He did a very bad job trying to steal morphine.

For reference, 1 pound is 453592.37 milligrams. According to a quick Google, 200 milligrams is enough to fatally overdose the average adult, meaning that's enough morphine to kill just under 2268 people.

That shoes how ludicrous the amount he is asking for is.

8 hours ago
CAD8033

https://i.redd.it/rrvss0lpzvbf1.gif

7 hours ago
Siegelski

I refuse to believe anyone wouldn't understand this.

6 hours ago
Caneos

It means you're an idiot.

6 hours ago
nevermindaboutthaton

Stollen? A sort of bread with raisins and sugar?

5 hours ago
oxmix74

Can you still get a paper prescription? Because I have not seen one in something like a decade or more.

5 hours ago
MrOliber

Peters' German distant relative klaus here, I would like a slice of this stollen.

4 hours ago
DazzlingClassic185

The pad was stollen. Mmm stollen😋

4 hours ago
the-quibbler

This is an old, racist joke. The misspelling of "morphine" is intentionally designed to put one in mind of African-American dialects. I've seen references to this joke that suggest it's at least 70 years old.

So, ha-ha, racism!

3 hours ago
theGreatImmunitary

This subreddit isn’t beating the allegations 😞

3 hours ago
AbsoluteTrashDude04

“Mofine” is taking me out lmao

2 hours ago