ProgrammerHumor
pirateSoftwareShowsOffHisSecurityCode
Discussion
That's it, you're on the list buddy. Hope it was worth it!
I've reported your account to Reddit, that's on you.
Hope it wasn’t your main account.
Fuckin nailed it
Let's wait and see how long it takes for Reddit to ban this guy.
Welcome to the finding out timeline buddy
fake stretch
Oh yes, The list, of course! There is no list.
Forwarding this to my team of lawyers right now buddeh
This is fake. The great Goblin Lord would never do that! He would instead test the ipaddress against a global map with all possible addresses (for security so he doesn't leak your address) so it would look like if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[0]){...}
are you sure? he might just use case 1 through case 4294967296
Or would he do nested switches for all four parts of the IPv4 address? IPv6 is instaban for now because it will take a while before it gets properly implemented
This made LOL at the idea he would just completely ban ipv6 addresses because he doesn't know how to implement them.
(artificial deep voice): "Look, right now ipv6 addresses are disabled. What should you do? I don't know, maybe get a normal ip address like the rest of the world? Chat should I ban this guy? You're banned... for having a shit ip address."
I had to disable ipv6 to download a Magic Arena update because of some weird reason
yeah pirateSoftware prob worked there
His dad worked there for 23 decades and he's 1st rate 2nd generation magic arena employee.
stretches "That's on you buddy"
IPv6 reckoning is coming. REPENT!
*Posts Mana Gem*
"Guys, look one of those people who harass me all day"
You have been permanently banned from this Chat.
Psst each parts called an octet, but pilate software would probably use magic numbers then comment them rather than an enumerator
Pilates software ;)
Thank you correction although much like his code Pilates has a repetitive nature :3
Woops, I knew that word but couldn't remember it that fast... Thanks for reminding me!
a nest for each bit.
I would use numpy to generate random numbers between 1-4294967296 and store them in a pandas dataframe, that way you can loop that df later to see if you've already checked that IP!
if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[0]){...}`
if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[1]){...}
if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[2]){...}
if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[3]){...}
if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[4]){...}
if(ipaddress == global.secret_ip_lookup_array[5]){...}
You're making the list bud
You forgot the painfully obvious and useless comments in your code, you're going on the list yourself bud, hope it was worth it.
If only there was a way to write that in fewer lines of code
Why is this hard? Have a list of bad addresses, all else are good.
if(badIPs.includes(ip){return 1;}else{return 0;}
stretches
Still wrong. He would at least use a switch statement.
Honestly the worst part isn't even the code, it's the font...
Only after bragging about someone plugging something in the wall and because he walked in the room at that exact moment he got a defcom black badge
I wish there was some trusted service to ask for trusted localhost IPs
You mean Mind Goblin, right?
Are the yanderedev and pirateSoftware the same person?
At least yanderedev didn't call himself the Bob Ross of programming
wait, jason software said that??
"People call me the Bob Ross of programming, which I think is a pretty big honor 'cause I like Bob Ross' stuff"
Direct quote from one of his shorts
No way. Link??? I need to laugh
We found his origin story! He's just coding cuz he thinks it's fun and he knows he's not good at it!
"Anything we don't like, we'll turn it into a 5s no-context clip or something; we don't make mistakes, we just have harassment by haters."
I feel dirty for twisting the zen words of acceptance into complete stubbornness and wilful ignorance
Did anybody really call him the bob ross of programming?
Between all of the comments in his YouTube shorts, it wouldn't surprise me if someone said that.
Having said that, I still choose to believe he just made it the fuck up. It's in character.
Whether he did or didn't, he certainly claimed it and made a short about it.
That is nuts and downright insulting. Bob Ross honed his craft, inspired others, and was always well prepared for taping. He didn't just hop on the air, talk about how great he is and just "wing it".
Jason Pirate Software here spends most of his time verbally talking about how great he is.
He can't even be bothered to read up and check his understanding before creating hours of videos giving his misinformed and vulgar opinion on a subject. He reads the headline, imagines what it's about, then trashes others' work in front of millions of viewers.
Bob Ross - "Mistakes are happy little accidents."
Jason Thor PirateSoftware - "Eat my entire ass."
No, he just said they did.
Isn't YandereDev a pedophile?
No yander is better
Nah lets ship them
Yandere toppping Pirate is now canon.
I'm imagining that famous shrek x shadow picture but it's pirate and yandev
To abu dhabi.
Unironically, he was only starting programming when he did the popular code, he did improve after that.
In contrast, Pirate software was a dev for 20 years, and in Blizzard for 7 years when writing this code.
He wasn’t a dev, and while he worked at blizzard he was doing non-software roles. He’s not a software person, he has always been basically a social engineer “hacker”
he was a qa tester at blizzard and a social engineer with the dept of energy
I have always said that PirateSoftware was 1 incriminating chatlog away from being Yanderedev, but I just saw a video of him actually having a chatlog posted about a guy of 11 years younger he was doing furry ERP with while he was married (yet insisting on monogamy with that person).
Dude is seriously the new Yanderedev. Solo dev, ain't releasing shit, can't code if you put a gun to his head...
I know a lot of people that do ERP but still feel their relationship is monogamous. Its RolePlay, not reality.
As long as they're open with their partners about it its fine
Yandere Dev is an order of magnitude more productive and he is less arrogant and has a smaller ego. Mentioning them in the same sentence is slandering yandere Dev. Yandere Dev is still awful, but pirate software somehow manages to be much worse.
Well I believe Yandere Simulator actually released? So 1-0 for YandereDev I'd say
Having seen some of Yandere Simulator's code, no not in the least...
This 'screenshot' is faked to be awful and it's still better than some of the stuff in that gods awful silicon-foresaken nightmare of a """game"""
This has to be fake 🤣.. funny regardless 😂
If you know of a better was to keep track of hackers than a giant list of every ipaddress in the world set to 0 and then when a hacker is detected going in and manually changing the 0 to 1, I'd LOVE to hear it. If not, keep your mouth shut.
You got me there! 😆😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣
Hope it was worth it bud, you just made the list.
I know this was a joke but while thinking of weird solutions, I realized a bit set for every IPv4 address could fit in half a gigabyte, which is big if loaded in memory, but surprisingly reasonable as a seekable file. Obviously this is also terrible but surely that has to be better than the if snake, right?
Personally, I would write down each IP address by hand and put a big red X over it if they are a hacker. Then I take a photo of that and store it, and then I can manually check every IP attempting to connect.
Come on now, we're programmers, we can automate stuff! Obviously you should use OCR on the image and do a regex search for the IP address to see if it hasn't been crossed out.
Ugh, can't we just pay someone in India to do it for us manually and call it AI or something?
and when the ISPs rotate IPs around between customers, we go in and manually correct them
For performance a hashmap should be used. Or a switch statement perhaps.
Lol I can't tell if you are joking or not.
It is fake however his game code has some similar stuff. The whole story control structure is an array with 300+ indexes with magic numbers, arbitrary int values and its only indetifiable via inline comments at the definition
Also most of them should be booleans but he used 1s and zeros, when he got called out on it he said his programming language doesn't support boolean values (it does), then when called out for being wrong about that he tried to argue that using booleans is bad programming.
What was his argument?
A call to authority, with him being the authority
When you put it like that it amazes me even more how **nobody** called him out on **anything** until the WoW raid and the SKG initiative drama, really goes to show the power of social perception and status, dude tarnished everything because he can't say "yeah my bad, I'll do better"
Why use 1 byte when you get 3 for free!?
Gamemaker does that, all the actual info is brought together in the editor UI.
Yea I saw some in a video, and saw the exact one you are mentioning. But it really looks like the code i saw, just wasn't the code i saw.
I mean, just being honest, most code handling game logic in any engine is an absolute nightmare of a rats nest that looks a LOT like that. It's kind of the nature of your requirements being something between a script that uses existing handles, and a need to have explicit control over some part of the underlying systems.
Does it look awful? Yes. Am I going to extend the underlying systems to cleanly expose those capabilities that I'll likely only use in this one part of game logic? Fuck no, I'm gonna hack that shit together with the equivalent of popsicle sticks, duck tape, and a dream.
WAIT! Wait, wait, wait. Are YOU telling ME that r/ProgrammerHumor allows fake posts?!
That's ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous!
See the thing is, that i DIDN'T know if it was fake. Because i saw some of his code earlier and it looked just like this, except it wasn't this specifically.
So this COULD be fake, I still don't know.
This is definitely fake. He may be a bad programmer but he’s not THIS bad.
Now I want to see his IPv6 code .... must be something like 10^38 lines.
(I know it's fake but the though is funny)
Just let chatgpt make it
Funny enough, I thought I'd try chatgpt to see if it would even list all IPV6 combinations, or IPV4 combinations possible and it refused every single time.
7-15 characters per (decimal-notation) address times 232 addresses is on the order of dozens of GB of text. I'm not super familiar with how LLM billing works, but unless Bo Burnham has made a song about you, you probably can't afford it.
Come on, Jeff, get 'em!
This is fake. He worked at blizzard, he knows how to hack the CIA, FBI and the Statue of Liberty mainframe /s
Yeah and also worked for nuclear plants but was too passionate about making games so he quit.
Totally not made, exactly like his voice, totally not voice changer.
I’m not defending the dude, more stuff comes out and it’s just…eugh. However, a voice changer program isn’t the answer. His voice either naturally deepened, or he trained over time to speak like that. There are videos of him at some award thing for twitch I think. He sounded just the same.
Yeah and also worked for nuclear plants but was too passionate about making games so he quit.
Hacking them he claims, while his "hacking" at Blizzard was mainly if not all social engineering by his own accounts if you actually listen to the stories.
i think it's also in his linked in where it says it was social engineering
Wait until he knows about IPv6
Also i like that this makes no sense in terms of programing, also it makes even less sense in terms of networking. Many adresses here wouldn't be assigned as public adresses. Or are just companys' adresses like 1.1.1.1 (cloudflare dns) 8.8.8.8 (google dns), you get the point.
I guess that's why they're not hackers!
If we are talking about real traffic you are right. Nothing stops you from crafting packets with whatever source IP you want or if you figure out the destination address you can create packets with that as the source and spam services on the internet and get them to reply to the target device.
Potentially you can use private addresses as the source IP when hitting something on the internet too.
I don't expect him to know about prefix tree, but at least use a hash-map or a set.
tree count as extrended grass - he will not touch that.
also hash maps? we don't do drugs in this house here! no hash for you!
:-P
Unfortunately he would just claim the language doesn't support it if you suggest using any data type other than int, string, or array
Fuck I'd just query a database at this point, it'd be faster than what he's doing here.
Oh, I knew it with the name of Tries
Wasn’t this guy QA at blizzard or something? Now he runs around pretending like he’s a grizzled game dev veteran
according to his linkedin all he did was write phishing emails to test security
Oh so he just tried to take down the people who actually do the hard work and send them to security training for a couple hours. Like a tech speed bump
I mean it’s important for people to know how to avoid stuff like that; else you wind up with even more massive corporate data leaks than we already have.
I think phising tests are important but the people who issue them are not hackers, and in most cases are probably not even programmers.
If you've got credentials worth a fuck, don't bitch about phishing tests. You are a potential weak link in internal security
I've worked at 2 places that had dedicated phishing tests and never fell for a single one.
He worked with hacking nuclear power plants for the government as well, but it paid too well so he quit.
Yes, I am serious. He has said this.
The people who hate him for being in QA just kind of admit they hate QA people and think they're below them, despite being incredibly important to the entire industry and extremely undervalued. It's this weird superiority complex that a lot of coders get that makes them look down on everyone else. Major problem in the industry.
As QA, I agree, but also, a lot of us are dumb as rocks
Us QA people have to think like the users. Most are dumb and some are insane at finding bugs/glitches. Almost any speed will show things we couldn't even comprehend how they came up with that scenario.
Sure, but like... You still do your job. You contribute to an industry and need to know how things work to do it. It's a skilled position that contributes to the overall product. Saying "He's pretending to be a game dev veteran" as if that's stolen valour because he's "just QA" says a lot more about the people making that complaint than it does about him.
Imagine if I told you you didn't belong on this subreddit because it's "Programmer" humor, and your position means you're not worthy of being here. The complaints are worse than the alleged misdeeds here.
The didn't hate him for being QA, they hate him for misrepresenting his QA experience as coding experience when he clearly doesn't know anything about coding. QA is an extremely important role, but it is a different role with a different skill set and having experience with one does not make you competent at the other.
I feel that people aren’t talking about this enough. I dislike the guy’s takes, sure. But shitting on him (or anyone) for being QA is just being an asshole
Is he a stubborn asshole with bad takes? yes.
Is everyone becoming a supposed expert on what his career entailed and judging him on it really fucking stupid? yes.
It's this whole thing where nothing he's ever done is as bad as all the people harassing him and his community. But they need to justify wanting to harass him, so they invent reasons to justify their own shitty behavior. But none of them are actually things that make him a bad person.
There's a thread in LSF right now where someone mocked him over an animal in his charity sanctuary dying, and people are attacking him for reporting that comment. It's the highest post on the subreddit right now.
He may be a dick but the people who hate him are just disgusting.
ipaddress? Why would my ipad have a dress smh my head
if (ipaddress == 'x.y.z_ip') { return 1; } hacker
Wouldn't this make it much easier?
Dude stop acting like you know better than him. He used to work at blizzard. Show some respect.
Where do all this memes from this guy come lately?
he basically became yanderedev 2.0
he always had a bad rap for being a talentless nepobaby who did part time qa at blizzard, makes it his entire personality, then says dumbass "hot takes" on livestream. well he said some extremely stupid and hypocritical shit about a dude that is pretty universally loved by the online gaming community. so yeah, pretty much yanderedev'd himself now everyone is going to make fun of him now. he is also genuinely awful at programming, yanderedev levels of awful and has a massive ego to go with it.
What is with this yandev slander? This guy makes yandev look like a genius by comparison. Yandev is a system times more productive than him despite spending 2/3 of every day responding to hater emails. Yandere sim gets meaningful updates often enough that he doesn't need to make trivial updates to keep steam from flagging it as abandoned and delist it from the store.
Has the community seriously stooped to defending that insect-brained moron?
I'm not really defending him, just claiming pirate software is dramatically worse
Agree - yanderedev is a more productive developer than this guy.
Which is a fucking wild situation given that yanderedev has been literally the poster child for "unproductive, clueless developer" for so long.
Well, the guy made Yandev look like a competent dev, and that’s a very low bar.
Plus he went through puberty twice and we hate those people.
Who did he said stuff about? I'm out of the loop
Ross Scott / Accursed Farms. I'm not actually sure he's as universally loved as that comment implies. He's not unknown, but he's also not a markiplier or jacksepticeye or anything like that.
He's known for making the Freeman's Mind series, the Game Dungeon series, and more relevant to this topic, a series called Dead Game News, where he talks about games that are dead or dying - that is, games you can no longer play or soon will be unable to play. He's probably most known now for starting stopkillinggames.com, which is "a consumer movement started to challenge the legality of publishers destroying video games they have sold to customers."
PirateSoftware, the guy in OP's image, is critical of the movement and has been critical of Ross, and the internet at large is now critical of him (they'd been critical of him before too, but the intensity has certainly increased).
I guess from the recent upheal of the Stop killing games petition where he pretty much sabotaged it by being a dumbfuck and not reading or try to get in contact with the guy behind it to get a better understanding And i believe bigger YouTube channels talked about it as well couple weeks ago giving the petition a boost
I wrote almost a billion lines of code
*The billion lines of code in question:
That's a weird way to optimize CIDR bitmask comparisons
"optimize"
what's really nuts is when you scroll down and see
1.1.1.255
1.1.1.256
1.1.1.257
...
1.1.1.999
No way this is real. This has to be a meme right
oh shit I didn't know that yandere dev worked for blizzard that's awesome
Fuck that guy
I hate his fucking voice. I can bet he intentionally makes his voice deeper when he’s on the camera.
And not with monospaced font!?
Ain't no way bruh
I've seen the code and while i know game code can be 'creative' in its implementation, what I saw isn't the standard, right?
If I made a PR at work with a similar implementation to problems i would probably have to wear the dunce cap, or be walked out.
This made LOL at the idea he would just completely ban ipv6 addresses because he doesn't know how to implement them.
I understand that being a gamedev does not equal to being a coder... but brother what is that
Once this mf learns about for loops it's over. OVER. Hearthstone or whatever his game is called is gonna be a COD killer!!!!1!
I still can't figure out what he's trying to do.
What is this? Why doesn't he just print the ipaddress?
EDIT: Just read OPs explanation lol I guess this is how it looks like if you never took CS classes. I guess I'd have done something similar if I was 15 years old or never had learned about hashmaps, sets, dicts, or even arrays. But even then this code doesn't make sense.
Wrong, he'd write is as:
```` //Assume hacker var is_hacker = 1;
// Check for 132.201.211.158 - known not hacker if (ipAddress.equals(ip_address_list[0]) == 1): is_hacker = 0;
// Check for 158.1.63.127 IP - known not hacker if (ipAddress.equals(ip_address_list[1]) == 1): is_hacker = 0;
// Check for 127.0.0.1 IP - Me :D if (ipAddress.equals(ip_address_list[2]) == 1): is_hacker = 0;
etc etc etc ````
Writing even these first three lines gave my fingers cancer.
Y'all need to go outside and touch grass lol
Web dev here. Could you just use one line of regex to cover all of this?
The answer to all questions involving this guys code is yes there is an easier, faster, better way to do this or it needs to be hard deleted and replaced with an entirely different system of doing things.
PS is such a phony
It's all fun and games until IPv6
What the fuck lol
Hopefully he doesn't write conditionals for IPV6
if IPV6detected() { return 1;} //IPV6, could be hacker.
Ipv6 enters the chat
Wait till he starts his ipv6 list
Good luck with IPv6.
Oh please tell me he pulls that off the referrer header.
walking up to people with a clipboard and awkwardly asking them to scan their employee id card is not hacking
Did you know he used to work at Blizzard.
why can't he just use a fucking subnet mask. or a wild card. Come on.
Please tell me this is fake. Please God
To be honest, it shouldn't be perfect; the solutin should work!
I'm not sure why reddit is so obsessed with this guy
I'm sorry, wouldn't all those if statements slow it down when it boots up?
Who?
Some dude who has an annoying ego and pretends like he knows everything, but idk if it makes sense to have an internet hate boner against him when there are actual scum with bigger audiences on the same platforms. I guess charisma is everything.
This obsession with the pirate guy is pathetic honestly. Like just ignore him
claims to be an authority on subject + has big audience + issues an absolute, testable, and false statement = content waiting to be farmed
Love the vitriol this goober is currently getting. Guy is an absolute toolbag
This has to be a joke or a troll, this guy said he won some cybersec competitions before, and he worked at blizzard.
I have seen multiple code snippets all worse than each other, there’s no way this guy is a senior engineer or a game dev, please tell me that whatever code he is showing is a parody.
Surely he’s trolling right?
Y'all's obsession over this guy is getting very Gamergate.
Can we maybe make it a rule not to mock specific individuals? This is honestly in poor taste, regardless of how you feel about Pirate Software.
Nice, showing off the code to his new "stop playing games" initiative.
Dude no way
Is this a new meme template? I swear I’ve seen that same picture with several cursed code snippets just today
Why do people keep advertising him?
Thor is probably loving the attention right now.
loser skg hate......
The more I see his code the more it makes me laugh...
Z
I guess any engagement is good engagement
Can someone explain what's going on here?
but he hacked the 127.0.0.1 all by himself!
You're not lying, he broke the server so hard that its refusing the connection
Phew, that was close.
..using social engineering. He's an engineer. He makes my hate engine towards liars going.
What that's my IP Address? Am I in trouble please help
Logged in first try.
must change the passwort 127.0.0.1 uses the same password as my luggage.