ProgrammerHumor
pleaseCompilerGod
Discussion
You do work before standup?
My current "standup" is near the end of my workday. Combination of timezone issues for a distributed team, and a boss who has a whole other slate of projects to manage in the mornings. (And yes, my boss is in the "standup", which part of the reason I'm putting it in quotes)
I had something similar to that for a while and hated it with passion. "Stand up and leave for home"
Anyone can be in the stand-up. Bosses are generally not allowed in retros for maintaining psychological security but stand-ups are fair game. In fact, they can often provide useful context which may make them desirable to be in a stand-up and show their commitment to the success of the team. If a boss is disruptive it is the job of the scrum master to communicate that to the boss and either coach them or convince them not to come. If the boys doesn't listen to that, then you've got a bigger problem than what agile says.
My favourite thing to say in stand-up is "I'm clocking out in a couple of hours".
I wake right before standup
just say you cant comment, the build hasnt finished yet
Why would you want the build to finish before standup? You can just say “build is in progress, no other status at this time”.
"No, not yet. Yes, I am still on it. Yeah, I know it only had 3 story points, but I am still not done. Yeah, I will probably be finished today"
Bonus points if you give this update for a week straight.
be me, gets a 6 hours ticket, proceeds to spend 40 hours of work on it and acts like nothing happened.
it's actually better if it doesn't
I share screen for 3 seconds showing the compilation process, and I'm off
Why? As long as it builds it is a normal part of the process
Release happens in 2hrs, you have a simple bug on hand, u have fixed it and fix is in PR, u inform team all good and fix can go in before release, Jenkins bot mails pops up unit test failure, you login into Jenkins, it is slow af due too many pr ci pipelines. You finally manage to get to the test failure from a 10k line log file. You run the test locally it passes. You look at the clock deadline in 10min. You pray and rerun Jenkins build and hope for the best
just say it's done during standups. hahahaha. if it doesnt work after, just say you overlooked some bugs 😂
Wouldnt it be better? You can say that "compilation is taking longer than expected, but in theory if it works, <insert jargons here>", ergo, good work done
Your Scrum master and/or boss must be pretty nosy if you’re trying to get stuff done before standup lol. I’d just say your team is working on the build and you plan on troubleshooting any issues, no blockers
Y'all mfs don't build on local before you push? Moreso you don't run your shit on local for a smoke test too?
Why would I want to run such buggy and possibly destructive code on my machine? I have to work on my machine!
The soul of the Machine God surrounds thee.
The power of the Machine God invests thee.
The hate of the Machine God drives thee.
The Machine God endows thee with life.
Live!
lol
What are they gonna do, go check on the deployment?
Me looking at my DTS test suites running during the meeting
God bless theminutehour
Where is this meme template from
Why wouldn’t you want your update to be that you’re waiting for the build to finish?
just for the CI pipeline to tell you to go fuck yourself last minute
Jesus, how long do your builds take?
why do you need a finished build to say "no blockers"?
What if a test fails? That's a blocker!
no, it's not. a blocker is when something is waiting on something from another team. or something from another team member.
I'm enjoying the idea however of somebody enthusiastically embracing TDD and contributing to a stand-up by enumerating their failing not-yet-implemented test cases as "blockers".
Not at the time you said no blockers.