ProgrammerHumor
gitBlameManPage
Discussion
Good thing we don't blame people at work, instead we work together to fix the mistake. And if for some reason someone wants to blame anyone we have a designated blame guy!
It’s all fun and games until the blame guy goes rogue
For my team I make sure I'm the blame guy if something goes wrong and ceo wants to question someone. I choose when, how and what to release. I don't say x pushed this change, which was missed by Y during code review, and Z during test.
I'm paid more than the people above me, so they can moan all they want, I dgaf now our uk company has become another faceless American private equity owned corporation.
Sensational
Took a screenshot in October of a conversation with the client not wanting a feature.
Used it last week when the client asked for the feature.
Just last week. It was great. We reverted the bad change by the other guys and the problem was instantly fixed.
- prod incident reported, payments are down
- fix by revert last change
- product: buT wHeRe’s mY drOpDown mENu??
Can't get enough of that!
Sex is cool but have you worked in a place that had a no blame culture and people focused on fixing problems instead of finding somebody to blame?
no 😔
Had this last week. Searched for my error for 2 days because I was also convinced it had to be my change. Turned out to be a hardware error. So good.
Hardware errors is one of the last things one considers.
For "normal" software development (not something close to embedded) finding a hardware error would likely take month of debugging.
the software is not embedded but interacts with robots and industrial machines, so it's not as uncommon, still a pain to figure out.
I have an office only people from my small department can enter and the balcony is connected to the alarm system so it has to be locked. I have started taking photos of the alarm terminal when I leave to prove it was locked when I left so that I won't ever have to come in when that one isn't locked in the evening when the main alarm needs to be enabled. The terminal also shows the balcony for the other side of the building and someone tried to pin it on me when the other side was still unlocked one day. Was very satisfying sending him the photo with both doors locked that I took the day before.
No, I haven't experienced that.
Neither one, to be precise. But I'm sure it's great.
But have you had a humbling experience of thinking someone else caused the bug and then finding out he just moved your buggy method to an utility class?
(I had)
tl;dr Compliance made me change some code which caused a three day outage despite my warnings.
Early in my career, I wrote Excel macros against IBM terminal reflection sessions for a Fortune 500 medical provider. Each dataset was represented by "screens" with four character alphanumeric names. Text-only interface. Was actually great because you could do a lot without taking your hands off the keyboard.
Compliance saunters into my cubicle one day and demands I update a complex claims processing macro with a screen notorious for being slow to load/respond. I warn them on the spot it would have serious performance impacts and potentially cause issues for the entire billing system.
They tell me to do it anyways. I ask them put the request in writing. They do. I respond to their written request outlining the consequences and copy my boss (who agrees with my assessment). Compliance doesn't back down or offer alternatives, so I write the code.
Testing went fine, though it was painfully slow. Eventually the code is approved and it goes on to the business analyst for use. She runs the macro...on four machines concurrently.
It brought the entire billing system to it's knees for three days. The entire department of hundreds of employees, including the patient call center, could barely function. It would take minutes to change screens. Total pandemonium broke out.
Central IT traced it back to the business analyst, then to the macro, then to me. By the time the VP of Billing summoned me, I had all the emails printed out. He asked me what the hell happened. I handed him the emails. He read them, thanked me, and sent me on my way.
The change I made was rolled back and Compliance took my concerns more seriously. We were also able to get Central IT (who notoriously didn't like helping the Bill IT department because we caused them a lot of headaches) to give us a SQL database with a daily ETL of that screen's data which was profoundly better and made everyone happy.
That was their mistake because I managed to wrangle several more daily ETLs.
At any rate: document everything. Everything.
Reads like my father when he's talking about me to my mum.
I had almost 2 day stretch doing nothing but sitting on Teams calls trying to work out why everything in test went into meltdown literally minutes after I pr’ed. Everyone presumed it was my fault, my PR was being torn apart like when the greyhounds finally catch the hare, sweat was pouring.
That release when it was confirmed that it wasn’t my PR that did it, beautiful.
It's amazing how easy is this to do, and how much insufferable twats rely on some sort of farcical hierarchy/corporate power dynamics that you won't point the bullshit they themselves put on paper.
Also once I got a director fired when I did this, and that was defo one of my top 10 biggest professional achievements.
No, but I like having something else rock solid.
as a network engineer (EVERYTHING gets blamed on the network no matter what), i get to do this once or twice a month and seeing project leads try process the fact they were wrong is bliss to me
latest was somebody screaming about slow data transfer between 2 databases, showed there were using the 100mbps Mgmt port rather than the 2x10Gbps ports we set up for them
Yes - and it's damn good!
No because I couldn't care less who's fault it was. Everyone makes mistakes jfc.
Edit: and for whoever's downvoting; I hope you find a better job soon where your colleagues and leads are supportive and looking to solve problems, instead of whatever shithole you work at now where people I guess only care about assigning blame and creating drama as if work isn't stressful enough as is.
Your submission was removed for the following reason:
Rule 1: Posts must be humorous, and they must be humorous because they are programming related. There must be a joke or meme that requires programming knowledge, experience, or practice to be understood or relatable.
Here are some examples of frequent posts we get that don't satisfy this rule: * Memes about operating systems or shell commands (try /r/linuxmemes for Linux memes) * A ChatGPT screenshot that doesn't involve any programming * Google Chrome uses all my RAM
See here for more clarification on this rule.
If you disagree with this removal, you can appeal by sending us a modmail.