ProgrammerHumor
reinventTheWheel
Discussion
Does one have to pay licensing fees for this wheel? If yes I'm 100% failing the saw trap. If not, I'd probably be fine
lets say only for commercial use. private use IS free, but they keep the backdoor open to change it in the future, but pinky-promise that they will NEVER do that.
Nah that backdoor is too much, I would 100% fail the saw trap. A wheel is too essential to not be able to rely on...
Yeah, and they'll probably add ads on the wheel if you roll it too fast.
Upon further inspection you'll realize that the wheel is bigger than the door.
You can leave the room but the wheel does not.
Damn. When was the last time I got vendor lock-in by a wheel...
I absolutely how you guys are unapologetically falling for this shit while I can totally agree with you
There are no ads! However, the wheel will inform you from time to time of other shapes you might like, which do cost money.
Fucking redis
Wait, did redis do this recently too?! I'm still working on removing fluentassertions and automapper
Not very recently, its been just over a year I think. They also changed it from open source to 'source available' or whatever that means.
I haven't been following it very closely(valkey is way better for my use anyway) but I think they changed the licence again a few months ago.
What about automapper? We must have lived under a rock in that regard. We are trying to get rid of Moq, though.
Also don't mind the cameras and the microphones around the room, those are intended to monitor your usage of the wheel, to make the wheel better of course ! And not to sell you cups and mugs of the <insert random topics> you've talked about with the wheel
The wheel's surveillance of everyone also helps protect the children. You wouldn't want to not protect the children would you?
So do I have to let the trap mangle me or can I just kill myself?
The wheel is free for both private and commercial use, but you have to pay for full functionality (i.e., rotation). It falls under the Spinning as a Service model.
This is the clincher. You can use the wheel, but you have to pay $5 every time you do. Do you eat the new subscription fee, or do you make a new one yourself? Wheels aren't hard to make once you know how.
I can make a new wheel when I get home.
It's 2025. If I didn't build it, I refuse to believe that it isn't a SaaS that will eventually screw me over. Gotta reinvent it. No other choice.
Ahhh I donāt know if you are serious or not. All hail the glorious open source devs.
The mere fact, that you're not sure, means we're fucked... Die SaaS, die, die, DIE!
Itās an MIT licensed wheel
Ooh, finally a version where I walk out alive
In that case, the test turns into "leave the room without creating a personal fork where you change one thing and then let it rot forever".
This! So much this!
Ok, it's a perfectly fine wheel, but what color is it? Midnight black? I prefer charcoal black.
What's the internal thread structure? Oh, that's an old method. Yes, I know it's a free, perfectly functional wheel that does what I need. But I'd rather have a free, perfectly functional wheel that is made with a more modern internal structure.
Dw, the wheel is completely free, you just need to give it your telephone number and it might spy on you analyze you behaviour to improve itself
No. It is coded exactly the way you would code it except the variable naming scheme isn't the one you prefer.
How is that "exactly..." thenā½
Because it's more identical than any other example.
Its a proprietary wheel with a WaaS (wheel as a service) business model but a freemium basic option for maximum market saturation.
Are then going to sell your new wheel to an investor who will add a licensing fee?
The wheel is closed source but you don't have to pay for it
I think the point here is that this saw trap is in the kernel already, so yes, the wheel is licensed for kernel use. I'm definitely writing a slightly different wheel, since that one exposes a /dev interface and my slightly different needs don't include that.
The wheel may be oversized or undersized for a specific task. One size wheel does not fit all.
Checking the wheel's bill of materials I see that several components are under closed source licenses. I will have to reject your wheel in favor of a fully open source one.
Is the licensing fee lower than the man hours Ć rate cost to reinvent it?
If I do a good job, it'll help other people and the sum of their license fees will be worth the man-hours to build the new wheel.Ā Just... not the price of failing a Saw trap. Oh well.
ā¦ it's a wheel in some random warehouseā¦ not even your wheel!!!!
(Still falls for it)
I think it's fairly clear where there are several improvements that can be made but first I want to talk about this amazing open source Haskell compiler I found...it's written completely in SmallTalk
Wow, I am surprised that I have used both Haskell and Smalltalk in my studies. A small win against imposter bias!
Damn you I will rewrite it in rust and add scripting support
Rusted wheels are less efficient thanā¦.python wheelsā¦or more?
that's a ourobouros
And ouroboros is a Rust crate with dozens of millions of downloads, so clearly the people have settled on rusted python wheels as the best of both worlds.
Goddamn perfect comment.
But which embedded scripting language will you choose..? There are so many options and none of them fit your vision perfectly! You simply must create a new one!
It also has a rust interpreter so you only need rust for your scripting needs too
isn't lua the go to for anything like this now?
vimskript 9! it's clearly half finished superior!
Rust also has Rune, Gluon, Rhai, Mun, Dyon and probably others I'm not aware of all trying to become the standard for Rust software. They have different pros and cons, but it takes a bit to determine which API best fits your use case.
Steel (a lispido) for Helix editor :D
sudo sends its regards.
Oh, well, if that's the case, I'll just see mysel... Is that wheel made of wood? You know wood isn't the best material for a wheel. It's prone to warping and doesn't handle load as well as, say, aluminum. Also, i can't help but notice that you are using a spoke design. While im sure it was a novel approach at the time, this design pattern isn't used much anymore. You really should also have a rubberized grooved finish for the outside of the wheel.
What's your use case for this wheel? Oh, a cart? Oh... yeah... thats quite out of date... There are a ton of security flaws and concerns for cart based applications. How many end users? Only 2? Oh, but you use it to deliver your crops to the market. Yeah, I know that road. it's not well maintained. Listen, this wheel might be working now, but you'd struggle with any sort of scalability in the future. Plus, you're looking at a bunch of down time if/when the wheel breaks, and we have to spend time getting the wheel back up. Like I said, there is a reason the spoke design pattern just isn't used anymore.
Now, what I'm thinking is a bunch of micro wheels. OK, so that would really help with the scalability issues. We can get a bunch of distributed wheels that we can spin up or down depending on the cart load at any given time, right? Plus, if we ever need to do maintenance on a wheel, we can fix it without taking the whole cart offline.
Or we could integrate a Waas (Wheel as a service) into our existing cart design. We could get a couple of credits on Microsoft Circles and see how we'll we could get that all going. Just offload the wheel infrastructure to them. Just some options.
You had me sold in the first half, now imma reinvent both yāallās wheels
I will show this to my Professor for Cloud Native Computing, as a Demonstration why not to use aas systems for everything (he was certain it would be used for all applications of the future)
Saasaas.
aas.
ITT: Are Trains just wagons as a service platforms?
Yes kind of. Early trains have a lot of their design based on wagon dimensions.
Why did my hand start twitching as I read this?
It's ok, make the wheel. We are all making the wheel.
one of us
728th developer just lost as i am typing this
This fits techbros more than Linux devs .
wheel gets used a million times a day and hasn't had an update or a bug report since 1986, it obviously needs to be replaced
You have a point
ok but what if we rewrite the wheel in rust
Linus approves this
avadakedavraTom, I'm fcking tired of the fact that you don't fix problems in the code *you write, so that the wheel then has to work around the problems you cause.
not_a_bot6, - just for your information, I will not be merging any code from Tom into the wheel until this constant pattern is fixed.
I'm really pretty sure I could make an open source highly customisable alternative tho.
OK, the wheel is fine, but that door could use some work
The existing wheel is moving to a cloud-based subscription and has a worrying level of current dependencies.
(My version will use a configuration that will cause all future security audits to fail and will have even more dependencies, but don't worry about that.)
5 minutes later: "I use Wheel btw"
I don't think the wheel fits the need. There is to much resistance on it, it's ugly and it's not what users want
And If you add another wheel adjacent to it it won't roll
My wheel can roll in all directions, allowing the user to do whatever they want with it
Is the wheel a subscription that can be revoked at the suppliers whim?
"But the wheel doesn't follow the Unix Philosophy! It'd be much better if the axle, hub, and tyre were separate components so that we can all connect them together in exactly the same way using our own shoddy bash scripts!" -systemd haters, probably
But the wheel needs me to watch 3 AI ads per turn
But now my wheel is written in rust its memory safe...
It might be a perfectly good wheel but I can make one that breaks constantly, but takes up 1/2 as much space. It might also be more of a square than a wheel but I'll get around to finishing it some day.
But is it modular?
....enough?
But reinventing the wheel is how learn!
Next challenge: You're allowed to reinvent the wheel. But it has to have a GUI, and you have to stoically endure the 0.32 Ī¼s performance loss over running it in command line
is it written in rust?
Haha that's too easy. Emacs has a built-in wheel.
But this one has 8 spokes, while the client asked for 7 spokes. So my hands are tied.
Considering I'm a typical Linux App developer, I cant really write software so I install 487 different early alpha obscure libraries and require their specific release use. I then half ass the build process so badly it is nearly impossible for anyone including myself to replicate the build environment or process so I release a docker.
If I seem salty I tried to set up a VR headset on Linux. I now want to nut punch every one of those developers for just being a bag of squirrels lead by raccoons that cant manage documentation or even a build process to save their freaking lives.
I investigate your wheel, leave, and then create a startup using modern technology and research, such as air/nitrogen filled rubber wheels with rain grooves, that your legacy Flintstone wheel would take too long to upgrade to. Sure, we eventually have the same issues and some new ones, but until then (or until you acquire our startup), we eat your lunch and enjoy our smoother ride.
Can we put the systemd devs in that room?
To be honest, I dont think the wheel is a great design. It's open to a remote commuter exploit (RCE) that can cause crashes when used in unconventional ways.
We can probably do better, but backwards compatibility may be difficult to achieve.
Developer or apo designer?
People: "haha, why the Linux devs reinvent wheel? lol"
Same people a few years later: "How did we let this big tech oligopoly enshittify everything?"
Does jigsaw not know that there's a more optimal and flexible way of deploying that wheel if we just add another abstraction level (or maybe two)? What are we supposed to do, leave it as is? People are going to think we're stupid!
AbstractWheelFactory
ā¦ā¦ā¦ oh noes, I must wash, been hanging out with too many Java people
What good is this thing you claim to be aāwheelā if I donāt understand every single thing about how it works?
i HAVE TO rewrite the wheel in rust
Easy. Use the larger wheel to make a smaller wheel that can be used as a key to lock the door.
I'd like to spin the wheel. Just to check it's in working order.
This is why I and many others don't get why we need to add rust in. I get updating things that aren't quite working out but the wheel is already fine.
time for my firefighter training to shine. remember "Try before you pry"
grabs halligen and axe
"Is it NIST compliant?"
"No."
"Fuck."
i would just sit down and die right there
It stands for "Wheel Handles Every Extension and Library".
In my experience, Linux devs tend to be more open to using existing packages rather than getting "not-invented-here syndrome"
Yes, but the project outline says the wheel needs to be able to follow a sideways vector without changing it's orientation.
Oof these tough ones are crazy.
You.. you monster!!
"Pfft, that's easy. I'm not going to change it. I'm just going to look at the code really quick... Wait? What's this variable do? It should have a better name, right? Lemme just fix that really quick..."
KDE devs frantically searching every repo for the name "Kwheel".
This, but it's a techbro in a room with a train.
Wheels get reinvented better in the computer science world constantly and God bless those that do it. Some industries are held up by some of the most garbage code because they refuse to "reinvent the wheel" when the wheel they are using is a fucking cube.
Repeat after me: very few problems in computer science are "solved" once and for all. Go ahead and reinvent that wheel. It is only capitalism that hates revisiting things.Ā
JS developer: sum two numbers without installing an npm library.
ok but what instead of having these spokes connecting it like th
If it's public domain, we're good and I'll go reinvent some other wheel instead. If not, guess I'm trapped.
Dev proceeds to reinvent the wheel, and the final product has more bugs than the original, with never seen before features no one asked for, nor will anyone ever use.
Nice wheel, I guess. Can it also precompile my Python modules so I donāt have to futz around with installing from source?
forgot to mention the wheel is covered in gizmos and gadgets that youāll never use for the sake of ācompatibilityā and itās so bloated with air that if you use it the whole thing popsā¦
sudo usermod -a -G wheel gayrobot9000
it's funny cause it's true š
Good news guys, after messing with the wheel for about 6 hours, I almost have a working wheel. Iām close, I can feel it in my bones
Nothing from me thanks on the stand-up
Can I add myself to the wheel?
Tbf the wheel is probably the single most reinvented item in existence
I feel this would work better for JavaScript framework developers.
The wheel is likely already a reinvention of something from earlier Linux or Unix.
I look around the room and validate that there isn't any Windows. I agree and leave to find a room with some in them that need reinvention.
It's a good wheel but it could be a great wheel.
What if, and follow me on this, we don't even need a wheel. We could probably just download the tire package and build our own spokes/rims. The tire package is open source and we could charge the Client while we develop it. We'll call it Wheely and have an enterprise-access WheelAPI to let future devs integrate with our system.
There is a simple solution to this that I've brought up in other threads.
I built an AbstractWheelFactoryGenerator class. It's even better than a wheel because it can generate an instance of an abstract factory that can be used to dynamically auto-inject any kind of wheel into the dependency chain at run time.
On second thought, just put me out of my misery now.
Hello. I would like to play a game.
You got any games on your phone?
I feel personally attacked
Hello, Linux Developer
Hello, Lennart Poettering ...
Fixed that for you.
Nit: If wheel is not required for this test to pass, it should be moved into a separate test
I don't care about the wheel, but why did you not put a lock on the door? You didn't say I can't re-invent that, and it needs to both be a solid-core door and have a lock on it if you're going to trap people in here.
I asked AI to refactor the wheel and it looks great, but in it's enthusiasm it has managed to lock the door and change the pins in the keys so nobody can let me out.
Question: Is it a scalable wheel?
I'll just reinvent the lock
Wanted to share in our work chat... then saw "gayrobot9000" so maybe nah
Is this a hypothetical physical wheel or some compiled python module?
Put some baseball cards in the spokes and make it cooler.
Quick follow up question, is the wheel written in Rust?
Ah, i see he has worked with an ex-google engineer too
The wheel is carefully balanced from decades of use. One slight change could catastrophic.
I'd Namedrop Lennart Poettering, but putting him in this scenario constitutes a breach of Reddits Terms of Service because the man cannot stop.
Thats the hardest shaw trap ever
Reinventing the wheel is a stupid expression, should we have stuck with the solid stone wheel all this time? Weren't spokes a good idea? How about rubber?
If you can improve it you should especially if it's an engineering problem.
Today I wrote a task tracking app because none of the ones I saw online did exactly what I wanted.
Is the wheel written in Rust? Because I think it would make sense if it was from a safety standpoint.
Oh just another undocumented wheel??
Well...I've had a good run I suppose.
shimmed
I feel this post in my soul
But what if I could make systemd be a wheel? Thatād be very convenient.
But my wheel is extensible. If you need to add a second wheel in the future this one will automatically match revolutions with any additional wheels. Also if you need ski in the future instead of a wheel, my wheel will act as a ski, but you need to run a series of arcane commands (see docs and rtfm). Ā This wheel does require new dependencies and the latest experimental kernel branch.Ā
Do not press the spacebar while this wheel is installed (known kernel error not my fault).
And now your wheels are in sync you canāt go around corners very well, now to re-invent the differential gearbox
Aaand now some schmuck in a bmw wants to drift around his neighbourhood, so you have to either reinvent a welding machine or a locking differential.
Well, it happened to work that one time fifteen years ago - we can't have it not working now! BMWs rely on it now.
I love how you transitioned this into the mechanics of driving š
The docs for these extended features are a lie and you know it.
?? The source code is provided. What more do you want?
I assume the only comments in this source are cryptic one liners regarding extremely specific details about minor utility function internals?
Naturally. There will be hints about getting the wheel to work in space at 1 million rpm.
But absolutely nothing any getting it to work on a garden cart. After hours of trial and error you'll discover that the wheel doesn't actually support working under gravity. Why? Who knows but there is an outdated fork that added support for gravity but it's not compatible with spindles.
First assume a perfectly spherical wheel in a vacuum... No, Jeffery, this has nothing to do with the spherical cows.
Comments? The code is self-commenting
I want to know why the code does what it does!
A better naming scheme than 'var1', 'var2', and 'var3'.
Have you seen the 7zip source code? Turns out var1, var2 etc can actually be an improvement.
Is it one of those things where someone could say it's the output of a C++ decompiler and I wouldn't be able to tell they're lying?
One of those "A math major transcribed this algorithm from a napkin into C89 on a monitor that could only display 80 columns"
Ghidra produces some very readable code now days! 7zip meanwhile... At least when I saw it last time, it was a mess. To be fair to those developers, it works well and they're dealing with compression code which is inherently going to be hard to read. But there's a reason why despite its popularity and performance, it has shockingly few ports/implementations in other languages.
"var10", "var20", and "var30", in case you need to add more in between.
Does pressing the space bar mysteriously raise the CPU temperature at an alarming rate?
Yes, please donāt touch that feature
It streamlines my workflow!
https://xkcd.com/1172/
If you encounter an error with the wheel, it provides in-depth details on what went wrong. You can easily solve this issue by spending hours pouring through SpokeOverflow posts, Roadit comments, and YouInnerTube tutorials to figure out what it means and how to fix it, ending with you eventually discovering an obsolete forum last updated in 2012 B.C. that has the incredibly specific solution you'd never discover otherwise (if you're lucky).
But the error You encountered wa misscatched and the message describes a solution to a problem You don't have.
You hit the nail on the head. Some devs just can't understand that to the user, it doesn't matter whose fault it is.
WE DO NOT BREAK USERSPACE
is this a real message or a satirical one? Poe's law is strong with programmers' humor
The email? Real, unfortunately. Linus has made a very intentional effort to mellow out a bit in his communication since then, with quite a lot of success, but his rants used to be legendary.
He was and is also generally correct, which makes the... Let's say inelegant way he used to communicate even more biting.
Oh, it's 100% real. Linus has a.. very I unique (some people would change that to /s/unique/assholeish) style of communication.
To most people, receiving such a message would be seen as indicative of is shitty work environment, a boss that cannot communicate without using swear words and going way over the top of what's needed to try to push this message home.
To Linus, this is the very distillation of his philosophy: if you are given privileges as great is that of a kernel maintainer, essentially making decisions not just for the incredibly vast majority of desktop computers, but making decisions for the computers that run the very essence of the internet, which is not even including IoT things such as Linux-powered TVs, fancy touch-screen toasters, home automatic devices, basically every single embedded device in your house not to mention every single router that exists.
Given the enormous power of somebody who maintains the kernel of all of these devices and ~80ish% of simple servers, they should be held to an incredibly high standard and if you can't handle somebody yelling at you online (Linus' opinion is that he's not making personal attacks against somebody, but that he is making attacks against specific proposals for each changes), then you probably don't have the thick skin that is required to be one of the most powerful people on the internet, whether or not other people know your name or not.
Linus has always been like this. Personal attacks, accusations of driving contributors who don't want to be sworn at and put down when they are volunteering their time and effort for zero compensation, the inability to express himself in a manner that is conducive to the other person listening instead of getting defensive.
Look, I'll just say that the kind of person that makes the operating system that runs the supervast majority of the internet is probably not going to be the best communicator when it comes to him having problems with contributors to his operating system.
Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts about this but this is probably not the appropriate forum for this discussion.
I'm going to leave you with the Linux kernel maintainers mailing list link to the above quote:
https://lkml.org/lkml/2012/12/23/75
As well as this tidbit that emerged from the discussion of whether Linus is just a giant asshole who is completely toxic to his community, or if the fact that he's successfully maintained and grew Linux into what it is now shows that sometimes you need to say exactly what you mean.
(I know that people are going to infer my own personal beliefs, so to preamp that I'm just going to say that I think there is a middle ground where you can be extremely expressive with your opinions, while withholding swear words and personal attacks, especially when the person involved is volunteering their time.)
This is probably the most generous interpretation of the events.
Here is a good discussion from Y Combinators Hacker News, which I am very hesitant like here because.. well.. if you've seen what's happened to Reddit over the past 10 years, you'll understand exactly what I mean.
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4975715
Also none of these features are needed at the moment. But you never know
Does your wheel fit normal tires and have a standard bolt pattern at least? I think I can make my car compatible but I will need a new suspension system to make it work.
Legacy systems only supported up to 4 bolts. New releases add future support for up to 16 million but are considered experimental.
I think you might be on to something
Are you the guy who made StarDrive and StarDrive 2?
If so kudos, those were some of my favorites within the 4X genre when I was growing up.
That's me! I'm working on a new 4x, called WarDrive. Keep an eye out for it, early days yet, but I'll give you an alpha key if you're interested in providing early feedback, Probably 3-4 months to a playable alpha