funny
I think I downloaded the wrong Star Wars movie
Discussion
And... I jizzed in my cloak.
Our Force Dyad, never to end,
I see your Light Saber, fully extend.
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
And I jizzed in my cloak!
Never felt this sensation in my penis
The dark force never taught me this
Now i'll go home and change...
I jizzed right in my cloak
In this duel tween you and me!
I expected you to choke
But instead got ecstasy!
Every once in a while, I'm reminded that reddit can be a fun place.
I feel a great disturbance in my pants...
There's really nothing wrong with me, but we are gonna need a clean-up on Alderaan 3.
"Emperor was dead, at the end of the sixth film,
And I... Jizzed in my pants."
"Somehow, Palpatine returned,
And I... Jizzed in my pants."
Now we can play as Darth Jar Jar
And I... Jizzed in my pants
I jizz right in my cloak every time you force stroke and choke.
And when we're clashing sabers its like copulation
You say I'm a Sith, I just call it ecstasy.
I wear a rubber at all times, its a necessity.
Somehow Palpatine came
Everybody like a good cum back story
Like Kim Kardashian. At I think she got some on her back in that one video.
Thank you for getting my reference!
What's funny is I've never seen the show but did see that one clip. Then saw it again. And again. And yet again.
I really need to catch up on my backlog of shows...
Dori: CuuUuuuUMmMm BbAAaAaCcckK
Back! Again!
Emperor Palpacream
Space balls.
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
I hate a fair fight!
If I must then I must. Put it there...
I'm surrounded by assholes!
This had better not awaken something in me.
Too late; the Force Awakens.
I'm not sure it's the force that awoke though.....
Oh a force was awoken alright.
[deleted]
"I think I downloaded the best Star Wars movie...*
She forced herself on him.
He definitely didn't consent to that
Yeah, but Sith are into non-consent, so... he kinda did?
Wow, victim blaming. Smh.
There's definitely some recursion perversion happening there.
If only Rey had done that to Kylo Ren. Also I want Rey (Daisy Ridley) to do that to me.
Luke tried on Vader and lost a hand.
His own FATHER‽
The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
No stop step-Sithter what are you doing?
why are you stuck in the airlock again step sithter?
That's not true! That's impossible!
He didn't know it at the time. Just like the whole Leia kiss.
Dude, spoiler alert!
An 80-foot tall Daisy Ridley, circa 2019
Disengage safety protocols and run program.
I mean… they had force phone sex during the second movie of trilogy imo
True. If only both of them were in an equal state of undress when they did that.
If Rey is a Skywalker what does that make it
Skywanker.
If one is to understand the great sexuality, one must study all its aspects. Not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the heteronormativity.
Fight you for it?
AI video generation is your friend.
I mean... It really does raise the question as to why the force was not used as an effective way to disable an opponent.
Like.... even the force choke, why not just squeeze the lungs? or stop the heart or move the spinal cord
Idk if its cannon anymore, but there's a concept of a "force shield" that all force users have that prevents (some) force powers from working on them. It can of course be breached with enough force or finesse, but they do prevent the more OP powers from taking people out instantly like force choke or various telekinesis related powers. But the shield also relies on the users strength, fortitude and mental focus, so at the end of a fight when they're tired and worn out thats when people tend to pull out the grabs and kill shots with the force.
But like I said this is a thing I read about forever ago, but it makes some sense to me.
This is the correct answer. I read some of the books (before the disney wipe) and it's been a thing where force shield was the basic necessity when fighting against another force user, and it was common to try to overpower the shield while combining normal fighting techniques to keep your opponent on edge.
The only problem with this answer, how do non-force users like Jango or Grievous stand any chance at all against a force user?
They have plot armor, which functions the same as a force shield.
It's from Darth Bane: Path of Destruction.
Presumably the other force user can counter that since all Jedi can see the future and use the Force to some extent. It wouldn't be very cinematic to watch a Sith and Jedi stare at one another trying to stop each other's hearts without moving.
Never seen Hero, hmm?
Well then you might be interested in what googling Force Kill shows you, Lotta fun uses of the force in old legends books
I always wondered why they don't force switch the enemies Sabre off mid fight. Someone told me it was an honor thing and I said sith have no honor
Even turning your own lightsaber off at the right moment would be helpful:
Not if there's a delay. We've seen several times that it takes 1-2 seconds for the saber to power-up. In that time you would get toasted
But they have pride.
Maybe they don't feel like they need to force shut off a lightsaber
I think you downloaded Pleasure Wars movie
I think it was Star Whores.
Cumming to a pornsite near you!
La branlette Jedi is a French word. It would roughly translate to "The Jedi wanking"
"Branlette" is French for handjob.
Davie504 has really changed his content.
FORCE HIS DIC AND TWIST IT!
We need a link …
No, this is Star Wars.
Is that the one with the little wizard boy?
The ole dick twist!
TWIST THAT DICK!!!!
Bop it!
Twist it
So was he already hard or is she just mashing it?
I read in anthropology class that there was a group of warriors who were known to run into battle bricked up. Must have been the Sith.
Squeezes blood from the heart to the peen like a tube of toothpaste "Boner time"
At least she had the decency to jerk him off. She could've easily just popped his sac like they were balloons.
Some Sith are bound to be into that.
Okay Star wars has been out over 40 years why is this the first time I'm seeing this joke done !? 😂
single handedly better than the last three.
I think she used two hands.
I thought that was a sith move
Sith never look after the younglings.
Pray I don't alter it further!
Star Wars: the Empire strokes back
I mean her lightsaber WAS green
Now That's an effective way to use the force!
"Luke I milked your father!" 😂😂😂
Also better scripted than the acolyte.
Also a better Love Story than Twilight.
That wouldn't work on me because I have an extreme case of the gays.
Hahaha this made me laugh way too much. Thank you for this
Jedi hate him for this one simple trick. Click here to find out 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
it would take a teenager about 0.3 seconds to figure this out in the modern world, the ultimate sleeping beauty
She's not afraid to get her hands dirty
Stll better Lovestory than twilight
Typical Jedi, doesn't finish off the opponent.
What’s stopping him from using his force inside her? I mean on her?
That would get downvoted.
Cum to the light side.
I want Daisy Ridley to do this to me tbh.
Those aren't the nards we're looking for.
Jedi using the force in a different manner … to get the upper hand 🖐️
TIL. Branlette means handjob in French.
...or is it the right movie...hmm...
How have I never seen this before. Fuck that was funny. Brought a tear to my eye.
Ah yes, the sticky side of the Force
the best episode I've ever seen
Better than the Rey trilogy already.
Still better than the sequel trilogy we ended up with.
That works
I’d let her Force grip my lightsaber, if you know what I mean. 😉
Is this a short or comedy movie? Freakin funny
Princess Lay Ya
The Force was with her....
Still better than episode 7 8 and 9
There's a Star Wars fan film that I remember really liking back in the day but I can't remember what it was called. I just remember the 2 characters meeting in a very old and rundown abandoned building and I remember it being about one jedi comforting another jedi for turning to the darkside. The one line of dialog I remember from it is after they hit their lightsabers together the good jedi said," master Yoda told us not to hit these together."
Still a better plot than anything with Jarr Jarr Binks
Imagine you're about to duel someone with lightsabers, force user to force user, and the opponent just uses the force to twist your dick.
Still a better love story than Twilight
Still a better Star Wars movie than TLJ.
Deep space 69 did this too had a flashback Leia was forcin it commenting her dad would be pissed if he knew how she was using the force
Star Wars: The Gooner Awakens
Didn't remember them being that good tbh
Nope, thats the right one. Did you want the less original Disney version instead?
This was better than the original movie…
Death by testicular torsion
Also better scripted than the acolyte
Where are you downloading these movies!? I’m asking for a friend 😳
I'd prefer watching this over the ones they make nowdays
Doesn't this basically happen in chainsaw man?
She finished him off with an off screen Force Pinky
Star Wars; Rise of the Semi
The erection in the end caught me lmfao
The squeak toy sfx gets me! 😄
They had to be french lol. The last sentence means Jedi's yank
That’s absolutely the correct one 😂
💀
Looks like the right one to me
Not the climax I’m expecting out of the final battle. Lotsa hand skills involved here.
Ah yes, Duel of the Masturbates.
You fool! This only makes me stronger!
ME NEXT, ME NEXT
It honestly would work lmfao
Fantastic
Nos Français ont du talent ™
Can I get a Force Job? A little FJ?
Now I'm just picturing everybody who owns a Toyota FJ Cruiser is just driving around looking for a Jedi jerkoff...
Source?
Canonically, not too far off, from an overall perspective.
She mashes it
The forcskin be with u..
Star Wars: Return of the STI
Of all my years watching star wars I never once thought about this.
Now it’s all I’ll think about
The ball gesture and squeak sound effect was terrific
Hell nawl, dis the right movie
Is it possible to learn this power?
Italian of course.
Looks like the right one to me
That Super Mario game over jingle totally ruined the Star Wars immersion!
Heck of a boner to die to...
Also, most uncivilized.
“The Force is Strong with this One…”
I love it... Total simplicity... Lol
Force Pull
My turn
I love her look, like yep I got him now
She's a blood bender!
Star wars the horny legacy
like actuslly what tf is this
Might be the wrong one, but still ranks higher than Phantom Menace.
That was rather clever :)
That ending was very hard to watch
She Forced....herself onto him......I'll see myself out
Did you go to Blockblister, by any chance?
He should of countered by wiggling his fingers....
Force
chokestrokeSome might prefer a combo?
Ah the gold old choke‘n‘stroke
Just saying, we don’t kink shame in this dojo!
The David Carradine special.
That's not a technique the Jedi would teach you.
Some may ..say unnatural
How do you think Luke was able to perfect the force choke in RotJ? He must have been practicing somehow
Mike Tyson's favorite!
Step-Sith-ter porn.
Star Wars: The Whores Awakens
Star Wars: Attack of the hoes.
Star Wars: A New Stroke
This made me laugh out loud, thank you