Gotta start doing photosynthesis i guess.
“PHOTOsynthethesis is not good for you…” - some random jerk on the internet
Without absorbing minerals and moisture from the Earth with roots, photosynthesis just dehydrates you and weakens your bones.
"STOP turning into root systems.. mutating your toes to absorb minerals from the earth, you're just subjecting yourself to old clumps of feces and getting peed on by dogs"
Stop absorbing dog pee… It’s high in acid content .. it smells bad and it stains your roots
Tbf I would get burnt in 5 minutes
And lack the necessary chlorophyll reserves.
This whole thing reminds me of a fun book I read in the '80s, Top Secret, about a little boy whose science project was turning himself into a plant. 😂
Well what about sticking a pellet of 238PuO2 up my butt and through the Seebeck effect turn my self into a radioisotope thermoelectric generator? Or are these asshats really going to openly judge someone who identifies as a radioisotope power system? I will cancel them so fricking hard, my god is it getting hot in here, damn that's a spicy pellet, hang on, wicked I can see the bones in my hand.
or, ya know, don't take health advice from youtubers and influencers who have no health, medical, or science credentials.
In addition, try not to take any advice at all from these people because they're all just trying to say controversial bullshit to get clicks
It's like buying any product. They all shit on each other and in the end you buy nothing because you can't make your own decision. Lol
Sun causes cancer.
What if we just eat cancer?
It all gets a Prop 65 warning regardless
Sorry champ, that creates glucose and leads to diabetes
Photosynthesis uses sunlight which emits various forms of radiation that are harmful to your cells. Stay in the basement where it’s cool and dark, out of the deadly sun. If you notice your skin tone change from anything except your palest possible hue, you will shrivel up and die
The sun is lethal but if you try to hide in the basement you will inhale mold spores that will poison you, leading to a miserable, slow, painful death. Instead you should stay in the attic at all times.
The attic is a dangerous place to dwell. Heat rises, and with the attic being the uppermost section of the house, heat collects there—making is a veritable deathtrap in these summer months. Instead, you should stay in a CIA black site.
Radon gets you in the long game.
Chlorophyll. More like BOROPHYLL
I used this one time on a guided tour in Germany when someone was talking about white cauliflower. It went about the same as it did in the movie. Granted I was 39 on a Viking river cruise with mostly 70 year olds. I was tempted to turn to my wife and yell that I would not make out with her, but I cut my losses.
Way back I had a coworker who was in to Fruitarianism, but wanted to transition to Breatharianism.
He was a frail looking guy who walked around with a weird cane (that I'm pretty sure was a Kris. He left the company before transitioning to Breatharianism, so I don't know what happened to him.
He dead
I am a devoted breatharian, although I do have a Big Mac every four hours for the flavor.
Milk is not high in phytic acid. Oatmeal has at least some phytic acid, but simply cooking it dramatically reduces its presence. Also, the negative effects of phytic acid are way overblown. "Sucks the minerals out of your body" is almost entirely hyperbole; it reduces your absorption of some minerals while it is in your small intestine. It passes through your small intestine within hours, so as long as you eat a range of food, you can take shots of physic acid to wash down your oatmeal in the morning—you'll be fine.
Just about every single claim made by the 'experts' in this clip is similarly hyperbolic or straight up false.
Yes. This is the scummiest of the scummy of our time. Complete sociopaths making wild, bold claims without rhyme, reason or shirts sometimes.
These liars are almost always grifting. At the end they have some sort of supplement or program or app to sell to you to fix the problem they're telling you that you have. At the very least, they're engagement farming and making money off the attention you give to their content.
Very, very rarely are these kinds of content creators simply "misinformed".
Liver king comes to mind
I feel like a lot of these people start as cynical grifters but do it for so long that they actually start believing the shit they peddle because it’s just a positive feedback loop of dunces telling them their program changed their life and cured their cancer or whatever.
I swear when you become a "carnivore diet" influencer they make you sign a contract that forces you to never be seen with a shirt on
Or that you can never talk about how your GI is going to be fucked up.
Or all the other health issues, and then when the influencers who are so sick quit because they are hospitalized, then the carnivore bots rush to their social medias for harassment so the ex-carnivore diet influencer shut up and delete their account.
The grift must go on.
There's rhyme and reason. Viewership and advertising money.
As someone who's been eating healthier this year and lost weight and built significant muscle, all my overweight friends have regurgitated every one of those videos at least once. They're all fucking bullshit. I'm tired of hearing that I'm going to get fat/cancer/diabetes/whatever, while my doc has congratulated my complete 180 in my health.
Right there with ya, I'm 42 and look 30, I eat whatever I want within reason, work out a few times a week here and there, walk a lot, watch my portions and it's just... All so easy... I don't need a self help book, a nutritionist, a chiropractor, a priest... Nothing... Just a little common sense and eat slightly less calories than I burn. I feel amazing, better than when I was 20.
Some of them get to be president
Thankfully those ones usually leave their shirts on.
cough JRE, cough
That's the problem with all those diets, they don't take into account that if you eat a good variety of food you can digest well, then you are getting good nutrition and doing your best to avoid problems caused by selective dieting. Then you can have some cheat days sometimes and it's not so bad.
I can't absorb my food well. I'm down 20 lbs. But I can walk up the stairs like cheetah now that I'm lighter on my feet!
Why not? Is that a condition?
That’s the fun part, as those aren’t actual experts, they are just entertainment disguised as experts. It astounds me how many people with concerns don’t just talk to their fucking doctor or a nutritionist. It’s why my mom probably has some of the most expensive urine on the planet with how many supplements she takes.
They're not entertainers, they're straight up con artists. They either actually believe their own bullshit - in which case they're not doing it for entertainment; or they know better than to believe their own bullshit - in which case they're actively preying on people who are dumb enough to fall for it.
Part of the scam that these people peddle is that you can’t trust the experts like doctors and nutritionists.
I mean you pay $75 to see doctor who tells you to drink more water and eat less. Why do you think so many people seek out alternatives.
Well, the the doctor is not really wrong...
And the guy claiming that oatmeal spikes your blood sugar harder than ice cream is laughable horseshit. Maybe cheap instant oatmeal with a ton of sugar added to it, but a bowl of steel-cut oats with minimal sugar or other non-nutritive sweeteners? Not even remotely on the same level. I despise these dipshits so much.
That's Dave Asprey (he's also the one talking about milk in the clip). He's a known biohacker (aka bullshit artist). He built a whole company around the idea that mixing butter into your coffee was some kind of magic elixir (yeah the guy who hates oatmeal and milk wants you to drink grass-fed butter every day). Last I heard he got a warning letter from the FDA because he was claiming his products could prevent COVID.
Lmao my mom got on the butter coffee thing as part of her "keto" diet. Her blood sugar was great but guess who had insane cholesterol at their next appointment. Varied diet with moderation seems to be a foreign concept, people really really want a "eat this and not this and it works!" rule but that's just not how nutrition works.
The problem is so many people are looking for something easy - something that doesn't take sacrifice, discomfort and effort. There's no easy way to be healthy/fit/hot, yet so many people will spend their lives trying fad after fad, thinking they'll get that hot bod without effort
Folks like Asprey would probably tell your mom she's just doing it wrong and she needed to offset the increase in cholesterol with ice baths and infrared saunas.
Butter coffee sounds like an exciting way to shit your pants.
And really what even is the problem with sugar? If you eat everything in moderation, your body should be able to process the sugar just fine. People go really off the rails with food and that's how diabetes, obesity and cholesterol issues happen. Especially things with high amounts of refined sugar like desserts. Moderation is key.
A little added sugar here and there is not a big deal, but the problem is that shit is everywhere and it's really easy to overconsume, sometimes without even realizing it. I have a little now and then, but for the most part I try to avoid most added sugars and sweeten things like oatmeal with allulose, stevia, and monk fruit. Usually if I want something sweet I'll have a piece of fruit.
Yes, that is what I meant by moderation lol
Great. Now I have to figure out how to cook oatmeal dramatically.
I just thought it would be OATmilk instead of milk.
It is. That clip was cut.
Grifters be grifting to get you to buy their fad health product.
Essentially eat a healthy balanced diet that contains a bit of every thing they mentioned and you’ll be fine.
Try not to eat too much red meat or highly processed foods, salted, saturated fatty foods, and alcohol.
I feel amazing after eating a massive bowl of oatmeal with milk and protein powder.
There is only one solution here: stop listening to dipshits on social media trying to tell you what to do.
Aren’t you a dipshit on social media telling us what to do?
Checkmate, nerd
Checkmate, dipshit*
Leave the nerds out of this, they just create the platforms. The dipshits fill them with content ... oh... I'm going to need some aloe.
Ah the classic internet dipshit paradox.
Dipshit Paradox is my new name for an improv group.
[deleted]
Yeah, I am not listening to him.. wait, wait, but you are a dipshit on social media... so I will be listening to him, but...
Here's the problem with comments posted by dipshits on social media, they're high in phytic acid and leach vital nutrients from your body.
Reddit isn't social media, more like a social cesspool so it's a loophole.
It's just a big ass forum really.
trying to SELL you what to do. they all have some sort of snake oil supplement they are trying to push
Especially if:
They feed off having something 'surprising' to say, and they're usually misinterpreting (wilfully) some actual tid bit, or blowing it completely out of proportion. Like whoa phytic acid sounds scary! Never mind all the actual evidence suggesting oats are filling, cheap and nutritious, we'll throw all that out because some obscure shit - p.s. like and subscribe for more bad nutrition advice you can repeat to sound like you know more than others.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Some of those who talk horseshit are the same who eat sugars.
And now ya eat what they told ya!
Those who diet are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen egg whites!
Stop listening to wellness influencers, I guess.
Big if true
Guess I'm a peasant. I like oatmeal. I'm ok with that.....
Yeah, that’s the most hilarious part. Like eating oatmeal would turn you into a peasant. Most people are peasants.
Lobster also used to be peasant food lol
"Peasant food" isn't an indication of quality at all, it just meant it was cheap and abundant, and/or undesirable to rich people (and rich people aren't exactly known for having great taste)
I wish I was a peasant. They worked significantly less than I do now.
I was going to comment, but then I was like, "I'm not going to reply to some peasant!"
I also eat oatmeal daily. If you make your own and avoid the prepackaged quick oats loaded up with sugar, it’s a great choice.
Oatmeal rules. Pinch of salt and a good dash of cinnamon is all you need. Maybe some blueberries.
I like you too ;)
I'm gonna go with my favorite healthy eating advice (from Michael Pollan):
Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much.
This feels like something Mordin Solus would say so I automatically trust it.
I prefer my abridged version.
Eat
I absolutely love "the plants want you to eat the fruits". Fuck a conspiracy involving humans, that's way too obvious! No! It is in fact the plants that are conspiring against you!
IDK what the bullshit about not eating plants is, but it might've been the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Edit: lol the "leading theory" below that shows a complete fundamental misunderstanding of how evolution works is pretty funny
If I remember correctly, there are certain chemicals some people consider "defense chemicals" that plants have in different components that they are pointing at saying you shouldn't eat to prevent inflammation / food sensitivities. Without knowing enough about it myself, I'm 95% confident the people saying this stuff don't either and you can safely disregard it in favor of a varied diet that focuses on fresh and unprocessed foods.
Caffeine and capsaicin are actually defense chemicals plants evolved to prevent consumption. Well, consumption from insects at least.
i mean.. the leading theory is that most fruit evolved to bait animals into spreading seeds, like the tomato plant on Surtsey. so it's not exactly dumb, it's just an oversimplification. most fruits are produced in order to be consumed by animals as a part of the plant's life cycle, most leaves and roots are not.
a hot pepper plant, for example, evolved fruits to be eaten so the seeds could spread farther and faster, then evolved into spicy fruit so that mammals wouldn't want to eat it, only birds, so the seeds could spread even farther even faster. but humans are bizarre and like the spice
then on the other hand, maple seeds and dandelion seeds are actually tiny fruits, and they're designed to travel on the wind, not by being eaten. and a peanut is a fruit that isn't designed to travel at all! oh the wonderful world of fruit
the leading theory is that most fruit evolved to bait animals into spreading seeds
Sure, but even following that logic, it doesn't mean they evolved to be nutritious. They evolved to be tasty. There's a difference.
The logic that plants care about what is good for you makes little sense, as they only need a transport mechanism.
Our taste mechanisms evolved to incentivize us to consume nutritious food. E.g. umami drives us to eat protein, and sweetness drives us to eat carbs.
The only correct move is to eat things that absolutely do not want to be eaten, like poisonous mushrooms or colorful tree frogs. That's where are the real nutrients are hidden.
Lol. Every jackass wants to be an influencer and tries to come up with the most ridiculous claims; like mid to high tier performers haven't existed for 100s if not thousands of years.
Bet they got to eat fruits, full veg, egg and oats. All of it is good for ya!
You know what they say, contrarianism sells. Why say reasonable yet boring facts that make sense when you can spout 'secrets' that makes certain people feel like they're in the know and better than others.
That’s why I eat what I want.
That sucks minerals out of your body
"Fuck them minerals" - Michael Jordan
You rebel
Same.
People are fucking delicious.
Me too. It’s part of why I’m fat.
If people would listen to nutritionists and not listen to salespeople, we would be a lot healthier.
Thank you I should have did dietitian, not a nutritionist.
Better yet, get advice from a dietitian.
This is correct. Dietitians are registered and have to have education at take certification exams. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist.
In different areas they have different guidelines for how much education you need to be considered a nutritionist , while I can consider myself a nutritionist I shouldn't give out structured meal plans but I could because of my state , so I 100% agree lol
People say it must be hard and it kinda sucks that I got type 1 diabetes when I was 10. I think its neutral to better than not getting it. I got access to tons of medical/nutritional info from doctors and registered dieticians and have experience with what does and doesnt spike blood sugars etc. Anytime someone tries talking to me about carno diet or some stupid other thing i can just say " oh im diabetic, that wont work for me" and run for the hills from that convo.
Most nutritionists are self appointed experts just like these people. They peddle the same dumb advice that doesn’t work. If you want good advice, go see an RD.
Unfortunately a lot of nutritionalists learn from salespeople. Theres a reason each country had their own guidance on what's considered the optimal healthy diet and it always tends to lean pretty heavily into what they benefit from people consuming. In a country that grows a lot of wheat they'll be saying you need a lot of wheat. When they want to help dairy farmers they say drink more milk and eat more cheese.
The salespeople said they were nutritionists, am I expected to verify their credentials? Fuck that, I’d rather just eat a fat juicy steak slathered in Butter and Garlic.
Nutritionist is not a protected title so their credentials will vary. Dieticians are the professionals with verifiable credentials and education.
I know you already gained a lot of flak using the wrong term, but I like O'Brian's take. https://youtu.be/YKZN-hBTBUE?si=6t0LNEk32stF6wCK&t=655
nutritionist is not a protected title.
My mom is a "nutritionist" and she is just as bad as these people. In fact, these people probably call themselves nutritionists.
I'm not sure on elsewhere but in the UK any nut job can call themselves a nutritionist.
Over here dietician is the actual one you want, those are qualified professionals.
As someone who doesn’t eat anything that casts a shadow, I approve of this message.
Ahh your a level 5 vegan.
It’s vegans final form
Probably doesn't even pocket mulch
You only eat vampires?
I thought that was reflections.
Yes they only eat reflections.
I too only eat in the complete darkness
You eating air?
Oxygen oxidizes your cells and makes you get older faster, it's really bad for you...
Sick Simpsons reference
She didn’t listen. The guy said there are two problems with eggs: yolks and the white.
This is why I only eat copious amounts of eggshells.
Good source of calcium
Why does everyone who tries to have an opinion on food and health look like they're a dehydrated turd?
Probably because they listen to their own advice
Because they're eating like shit.
in all seriousness, we all be drinking Brawndo. It’s got electrolytes.
It's what plants crave!
“Starving is bad for your health bla3”.
Just die I guess.
“Dying is bad for your health”. Lol some people are a joke
There's a big internet niche for starving is good for you. The extreme fasting business is doing very well.
Literally everything is bad for you in some way. Oxygen is what causes cell death. You cannot exist without being constantly exposed to harmful things. So just pick the type of harm you mind the least and enjoy in moderation.
No one said fuck all about pizza. WIN
Pizza is one giant crouton topped with cheese, salad, and protein. If that isn't healthy then I don't know what is.
It's a vegetable after all.
The way she's shaking by the time she gets to milk 😂 I hope no one actually listens to those people. We all process food differently so to try and preach universal "food facts" like these are just silly. Listen to your body and eat what's healthy for you.
I just survive on vibes....FUCK
"they'd give oatmeal to peasants just to keep them alive"
Bro, that's the reason we eat. You know how much money we'd have for drugs if we could stay alive without eating? Saying a food keeps you alive is a recommendation.
Reminds me of Food Theory trying to deep dive into food nutrients vs what the body can actually absorb.
Biochemistry is complicated.
Guess the only thing left is breatharianism.
Don't breathe. You're inhaling car tire rubber and road tar particles.
It just sucks minerals out of your body and replaces them with PFAS
None of them said anything bad about eating people. You know, just saying or whatever. Please don't check my dungeo-- I mean, freezer.
Lol pollution
Lol! There's bro science to prevent you from doing anything and everything.
Air is not healthy for you! Air turns into carbon dioxide inside your body!
Welcome to the land of snake oil sales. Buy my guide and I'll show you how to spot them. Only $9. 99
POV...?
The Scots eat lots of oats, while the English feed oats to their horses. This is why England has strong horses and Scotland has strong people.
All the sugar nonsense is wild. It’s carbs. It’s not added. Dried fruit maybe but not fresh. Do you just avoid every carb because sugar? Lol
Your body needs carbs to get fiber. It needs sugar to feed your cells. Listen to your doctor and eat a well balanced diet. Anyone who thinks they should cut out entire food groups, especially fruits and vegetables, needs to talk with a licensed nutritionist first.
Notice, nobody made a video about whataburger
The answer is to stop getting your nutrition information from YouTube videos. These assholes are not doctors, they don’t know shit.
My wife's best friend was ALL into the first guy in this video and was trying to shame anyone she knew who was eating oats.
She herself gave up after a few weeks.
i think the lesson of this is... just fucking eat what you want. maybe with some moderation. :)
We live in the golden age of misinformation. Anyone can lie, but none can sell it better than those who are self convinced. Idiocy is a toxin, worse than any reported in this video, and far more contagious.
I just live off of cigarettes, killing the plants with fire is the only healthy option
The lesson here is, don't fucking listen to a series of shitswizzling pigfuckers spouting off complete bullshit.
Or, you know, maybe don't get your nutritional advice from schmucks on the internet.
Why diet ‘influencers’ are the biggest scamming grifters ever.
I'm a biochemist and this video does a fantastic job of summing up what it feels like to be fairly educated on the body, chemistry, and general science, and having to interface with the absolute TOILET that is social media "wellness" influencers. Virtually all of them very, very obviously have no clue what they are talking about. There's entire bullshit schools and certs they can get, from chiropractic to naturopaths to the MLM scammers and the right wing antivax trash... the list is enormous.
We really are reliving the 20th century's early days. The Instagram influencer is very literally the new traveling snake oil salesman.
Nothing is healthy. It all causes cancer. The universe doesn’t care if you survive or if you die. There is no god. We are all going to die and, relatively, living to 100 and living to 50 are pretty much the same thing. Eat what you like. Do drugs. Masturbate like there’s no tomorrow.
I know it's a worldwide tendency to sell supplements and stuff but this is a very USA centrist video.
Or you can do what I did in this video, just scroll right past it and not listen to shit
Na starving also hikes your bloo.....
Everybody is an expert. Or at least pretends to be on YouTube. Make sure they cite specific studies backing up their claims. And, realistically, it should be more than one. Great clip, though.
Or stop taking health advice from internet loons?
I mean, is she diabetic? Why else are all these videos about blood sugar?
Because these tiktok "nutritionists" love to spread misinformation about sugar and act like eating any of it will instantly make you sick and kill you.
Blue is high in antioxygens
Everything is moderation
This is why I don't listen to influencers or influencers posing as experts. They just want money.
Health influencers need to be banished to the underworld. They are just fighting and clawing to come up with new nonsense no one else has said yet.
I hate these nutrition guru's. They're always taking statistics out of context or down right lying just to get business.
Gotta watch out for that dihydrogen monoxide... I hear it makes up a large part of acid rain!
I'm an alcoholic but not had a drink in 7.5 years. When I stopped I went nuts into health, working out, dieting. I met vegans and got into veganism and got the "vegan high," from it. Yea, it's a thing, but, a nutriotionist former vegan said, "nah, it's just cuz the meat you were eating was bad," so, idk. Then, I almost died of gangrenous appendicitis in 2023. I was having trouble recovering. My body was just not right. My brother invited me to get hot wings and I did. The hot wings were like popeye spinach right there at the table, I felt incredible eating that protein meat, and I started eating chicken and fish again and got very healthy. So, all I'm pretty sure about is that alcohol is expensive and man, do I got more money.....
This is an ingenious attack on the credibility of influencers
Gotta it this meat I guess
Fun fact - those people are all completely full of shit
Consumes only sunlight for sustenance :: sunlight causes cancer
Fasting is pretty healthy, you can actually do it for the rest of your life
Or stop listening to all these charlatans. Seriously. Read something like the Harvard Medical Review on nutrition. The best we have is "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." Literally with a bit more nuance, that's the best science has to offer us on nutrition.
So don't listen to any online "influencer" and you'll be okay I promise.
That last one is fucking wild. You literally need water to survive. Health influencers are batshit.
where's the carrot barbarian girl?? CARROT IS NOT FOOD!
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