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Decisions, decisions
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Plot twist: You’re infertile
I hope so creampies are great
nuke your testies with next gen gpu gaming laptops.
Just gonna gonna get a little cancer stan
Why do you have to be infertile to enjoy a dessert?
Plot twist: Somehow, she still gets pregnant,
Reverse twist: …the child seems to have an entirely different skin color than the parents.
Double reverse plot twist: you're the main character in the 1994 movie, "Junior."
Triple reverse plot twist: the aliens impregnated your wife while you were out of town because you were close to discovering the truth
Epic... Can't wait to see what the 4th plot twist is.
The fourth plot twist: while you were reading this thread, I took your wallet and put Kool Aid powder under the soles of all of your shoes.
WHAT A TWIST!
5th plot twist: This reality is a dream and you need to wake up.
Wake up Steve, the accident wasn't your fault.
wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup
Being naturally "infertile" doesn't mean there's a 0% chance of a pregnancy happening. Still use birth control.
how do you even get pregnant if you are infertile?
Especially for men, "infertile" often means "low sperm count". Not "no sperm count". It means you are highly unlikely to conceive, and you can expect to never have a child. However, it does not mean the chances are actually zero. It might be like a 1% chance or something. Poor fertility, but not equivalent to using birth control.
Unless you actually get a vasectomy, never assume that you can't get a woman pregnant without proper birth control. (Yes, vasectomy/tube tie is a form of birth control)
I have to assume that a similar scenario can be true for some women. Being told, "oh, the chances are very slim that you'll ever be able to conceive. You are infertile" does not equate to a 0% chance necessarily. Use proper BC.
i was talking about infertile female getting pregnant
Totally depends. There are women who are actually 100% infertile. But some may be 99% or whatever.
Bottom line is, get detailed and exhaustive info from your doctor about your own situation. And if you're having sex with someone who says, "no need for birth control, doc says I'm infertile!" Don't believe them. Use BC. You don't know what their doctor told them exactly. They may be either mistaking their own situation, or intentionally misleading you. Either way, it's safer to assume that anyone not using BC is 100% fertile, just like how it's safest to assume that every gun is loaded and dangerous. Would rather be safe and not take the gamble.
My SIL's boyfriend said that he was infertile. She believed him, which was dumb. When she got pregnant the second time....
i can't stop gambling! thanks for your concern.
"no need for birth control, doc says I'm infertile!
A doc told my wife she was infertile over the phone that since she was 29 and we'd been trying for maybe 2 months and hadn't gotten pregnant yet... literally the next month she's pregnant and we now have 2 kids. Good news for us, but don't trust it boys!
"oh, the chances are very slim that you'll ever be able to conceive. You are infertile"
Friend had that problem, now she has an 8 year old. She's super happy to have her, she always wanted to be a mom, but it was a genetic condition to make conception damn near impossible
Good for her!
A friend of mine is considered infertile (has cysts that rupture and kill the fetus is how she explained it) and after a dozen miscarriages, managed to have a child.
Infertility is defined as "the inability to conceive after a year of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse" which is very different from the term STERILE. There are countless stories of women being told by their doctors that they're infertile then getting pregnant and having a healthy baby.
I had a vasectomy, wife had a hysterectomy a year later. There’s no way she’s getting pregnant, even if she had a boyfriend :D
Yeah, a hysterectomy will certainly do it
Duh, she obviously has a girlfriend
I paid good money to become infertile
Plot twist : you are trying in wrong hole.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the vasectomy?
Ngl. I hope im Infirtal
I am infertile. Not all that great, tbh. It gets old at some point. Unlike my non-existent child.
Edit*
I mean, you can be if you get a vasectomy
I hear if your double down in the same session it cancels out
But only if it's from two different sources. Then the swimmers get too busy fighting each other to advance.
hm.... *furiously writing*
And my dates still get mad when I bring a turkey baster of my rival's semen to squirt in after I squirt in.
H... How did you obtain your rival's semen ?
I beat him (off) for it obviously. A full on Vegeta v Goku in the bathroom stall.
I knew this rivalry had anime/manga vibes all over it 😂
How rude of them!
You're just misunderstood. It's not your fault.
Fun fact: it’s possible for fraternal twins to have different fathers!
It's like a water polo game in there
I used the cajones to destroy the cajones
Cajones = shelves.
Cojones = testicles.
I got the snip about 5 years ago. The only thing that pulls out in my apartment is the couch.
Hey fellow snipped here. Got mine in May this year. Got the all clear before pride as well. Needless to say it was a fun pride and 10/10 would get snipped again if needed.
What's pride got to do with this?
Fr I’m a lil confused, if bro is busting in the bussy what does a snip matter and if he’s bustin in the pussy what does pride matter?
Bisexuality exists
Yeah but it'd still be heterosexual sex which is why it's weird he brought up pride. If I had that great of a pride I'd be talking about it too lmao
Yeah I’m also confused by this lmao. Why you need a vasectomy for buttfuckin dudes?
Cause Reddit moment
Got laid a lot during pride weekend.
Ah, awesome bro! By girls or guys?
Yes.
Does this comment make sense to anyone else?
Getting snipped + having a lab confirm you are sterile = worry free creampies
Probably BI or something along those lines
How much was the procedure? Been looking into it for a little while now and am very curious.
Free
Where and how 👀
🇨🇦 😎
Google tells me a lot of insurances will cover it entirely, but if it’s copay or out of pocket it’s roughly $700
Was a $150 copay for me with a high deductible plan in the US. Will be cheap or free for most people.
She can’t get pregnant if she’s on top. Gravity.
You ever see salmon swim up a waterfall?
No? What am I a bear?
No but probably at least an otter.
That’s science, it’s in the Bible
Birth control
Female Birth control has a 5% median fail rate. So still a very Small chance of getting a baby. Also on average, 51% of women experience negative side effects from birth control. And male birth control, (as far as I've seen) is still in the experimental phases.
IUDs and hormonal implants have lower failure rates, but I don't know how they compare in terms of percentage of women who suffer side effects.
My ex had a copper IUD. Didn't seem to have any negative effects whatsoever. She's had it for about 10 years now and I left her cuz she was having sex with every guy who'd say yes and she still ain't pregnant, so seems pretty effective.
That's one hell of an ad
What can I say? That IUD saved me a lot of heartache. Raising 2 kids alone is hard enough.
She is a rare one, most women have pretty horrible experience when implanting IUD and can have a lot of side effects from it.
Can confirm my wife was on birth control pills and we had two semi-surprise kids (we weren't trying but we were prepared to start a family) after some complications with both pregnancies she went with the IUD and we went 5 years with no issue. We decided last year that we were done done and I got a vasectomy.
I'm on my 2nd Mirena and so far the only side effect for me has been no periods or pms which is incredible.100/10, I know it's not the experience for everyone but I can't recommend it enough. I've had them for like 9 years now and plan to go until menopause, no pregnancy scares either.
Plus side effects
Terrible side effects, tbh I feel like any dude that would prefer his girlfriend taking birth control over using a condom is selfish unless both parties are in agreement on birth control
Always both for me. I don't want no damn kids.
I have to take the medicine for medical reasons anyways.
For some the side effects are positive, thankfully.
Yes for some it can clear their acne, lessen period cramps, or even stop periods! For me it just made me get my period a lot more often :(((
Does that include vasectomy?
I think the failure rate is like 1% but those usually occur within the first year. If you’ve had yours done for 5+ years and still testing negative for any sperm I think you can count it as 100% effective
Birth control + Safe day + condom, Kowalski analysis.
By 5%, is that it doesnt actually work for 5% of people or theres a 5% chance of impregnating per creampie
I just bang dudes
trans men enter the chat
Well, not every form of birth control is 100% effective
What kind of cream pie are we talking about here friend?.
otmel
Hambgurb
skamtebord
Parents will pay us to give their children our delicious creampies!
A sticky mess that’s always fun
That was me describing how I eat coconut pies with pineapple syrup while running in my backyard.
I swear I read your comment as "while rubbing in my backyard"
Just go get neutered.
No pregnant! Only breed!
femboys can't get pregnant.
And their secret.....they are always horny.
It's our superpower as gay bottoms :3
As long we say no homo it's all good
Just have a nice talk about it. My ex and I did that before we started dating and had no issues. Our decision was “YOLO”
How does that go. Like you just ask “what is your opinion on creampies?” And then you ask her to date depending on her answer? Just curious.
She liked to read smut at work. I caught her and we started reading smut books together. I forgot when but we started talking about sex and I asked her if she had experience. That got us to talk about what our expectations were and how we liked certain things. She basically told me she liked the feeling of it and didn’t want anything to get in the way of it. So I was given carte blanche in that specific case. Worked pretty good, got us to really relax since we knew what our views on it are. I literally asked her what if I got her pregnant and she said she would take care of it (she didn’t want kids). We just agreed that whatever happens would happen.
My (now) wife said she was on the pill when we started dating, guess who “forgot” to take her pill, for months. Hustled
A common story. I didn’t really start dating until I had my life fully together. I also have really high standards for women I sleep with, so even if an accident happens I would be fine.
Isnt there a significantly higher chance of getting pregnant than there is you don't? How do you do it multiple times and not have a kid?
Yes. She had a miscarriage due to really bad stuff. But we had already planned stuff in advance so it wasn’t that big of an issue or a problem. It’s all up to the individual. I’m more of a 100% in type of person. I won’t sleep with anyone unless I know we can have kids and be ok. That’s not the case for other people.
You mean to tell me there are guys still hooking up without burner phones and fake names? That’s crazy.
you mean to tell me that there are guys hooking up without using birth control
Anal creampies ftw
Chocolate cream pies are the secret dessert you never knew you needed.
Like a bowl of Coco pops
Until it drips down and you end up with a butt baby
Anal
The joke is..... unprotected sex and lack of family planning.
Yeah I'm fun at parties....
No, you’re right.
laughing in gay
Laughing in vasectomy
Laughing in hysterectomy
Laughing in eunuch
Laughing in Varrys
Laughing cuz ur gay
HIV is the gay pregnancy scare.
Laughing in forever single
When she has an IUD.
50 year old cougars
When i was a kid (still inocent) and we were still learning english, my friends started joking about creampies all the time BUT they refused to explain me what was funny about a pie made of out of cream.
Imagine my suprise as a kid when i gogleed and discovered the TRUTH.
Said that: a minute of satisfaction is not worth all the risks involved. Yes, birth control is a thing but that doesnt protect against STD´s or is a better or simpler solution than using a condom (no need for her to suffer hormonal changes). Also, one can always shoot our "ammo" in more interesting places without risking a woman at all and still end up satisfied.
If both people in a relationship don’t get tested before becoming monogamous, they’re doing it wrong. Besides, plenty of women are on birth control for reasons other than protecting against pregnancy.
Sometimes Reddit scares me
wat
why
Bust a nut in da butt
Get sterilized and you don’t have to choose
Yes, because birth control is something that was never invented.
Haha, yeah, that's so relatable, haha. I love doing those lol. With all the sex and things
Life changed after I got snipped, sex was so much better for my partner and me once we didn't have to worry about that pesky pregnancy thing.
That's why you get a vasectomy. you people have also never heard of birth control?
Plot twist: She has a breeding/preggo kink
its only like this if you're in financial ruin and/or hate kids. if you're not financially fucked and want to be a parent, both are on the good side
Just use the damn birth control pills
Isn't there still a risk even with birth control?
My vasectomy fucking rules.
Anal
Vasectomy FTW.
Everybody gets a creampie! You get a creampie! You get a creampie! 😂
*laughs with vasectomy *
wtf are "creampies"?
Oh you poor summer child.
Snip snip so you can let that shit drip drip
We have been trying for a baby for like 10 years. At this point we will accept anyone's unwanted baby.
Theres this thing, you may have heard of it. Its called BIRTH CONTROL
Easy, creampies 😋
Having a vasectomy has been a wise choice for me
If I can meet the right person who's open to kids someday, I'd love to be risky. But tbh I really don't want to have them any time soon. Maybe vasectomy after the first one
remove left nut, put a silicone one so you get to keep the aesthetics, unlimited creampies.
Get the snip and take a dip my dudes.
Thats why i got a vasectomy. creampie and no children, live is good.
In the heat of the moment both options seem really appealing until the post-nut clarity sets in a few seconds later
I'm gay, so...
Being gay af 🥳🥰🥳
Uh. Okay.
I got me a vasectomy.
I she can have my pie and eat it 😎
Creampie in Fleshlight. Problem solved.
All fun and games until the fleshlight becomes pregnant.
As a virgin, what exactly is the difference between using a condom and creampie? Genuinely curious
Edit: have to clarify I’m 25 and I’m completely aware of how sex works and what a condom does, I’m purely asking about the feeling 😂
From the perspective of a male, the sensation is diminished by using a condom. Without a condom, the skin to skin contact heightens the experience and provides a more satisfying conclusion to the act. But obviously there are risks to unprotected sex.
Take your finger and feel the inside of your cheek. Warm, wet, squishy.
Get a latex glove, put it on your hand, and feel the inside of your cheek. Very different.
Condoms contain the sperm when the guy finishes having sex and prevents pregnancy, creampie is when you don't wrap it up and fill a woman's pussy with sperm which has way higher risk for pregnancy and std transmission.
Nah having babies is great
I
U
D
The best part of being born without a uterus, unlimited creampies!
Hysterectomy/Creampies!
Laughs in wife being on birth control
Laughs in being sterile from vasectomy
I feel that I should be doing it with you guys
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KSXJfqkT36M&pp=0gcJCfwAo7VqN5tD
It’s a VERY slippery slope. Ask me how I know x2
Jokes on you, I'm infertile!
That why you snip
I got a vasectomy so that I wouldn’t have kids, but it didn’t work. I got home and they were still there
Vasectomy!
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